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Sunday, February 20, 2011

As a Vampire I did not plan to find lifting up your skirt to everyone is normal!

As a Vampire I did not plan to find lifting up your skirt to everyone is normal!

Being a vampire is not always as fun as it sounds as we have to mix with humans and you are so odd !!!!

As a vampire I have problems with sunlight and over the next few weeks I will tell you of my trip to Asia to see my human relatives the ones which brought me up as an orphan until I was discovered and taken back into vampire society,  hundreds of relatives I never heard of which seams to be normal in Asia.

I do not burst into flame but get terminal acne ………….. well …..it feels terminal it may not kill me just wish I was dead, and even with 1000 percent sun block cream and dark glasses I still suffer.

Asia is hot and sunny and not a good place during the day for my species  ………….. I am good with overcast days in the West but still I am not a full day walker and so I suffer………….. but I will tell you more over the next few weeks as I tried to pretend to be human and fit into your world.

So a nice cool night flight and then it hit me …………….. sun light !!!!!!!

 …As I said I suffer from heat rash due to being a vampire or in my case monstrous heat bumps  …….heat lumps ….. see as a vampire I can not take sun light 3 on my left foot and two on my right a mountain of one on my lower right leg.

And the worst on my right inner thigh one that was 1 inch dia and itched like hell another 3 inches dia of puffy skin around it from me scratching.

And I was now a guinea pig for testing herbal creams by unknown relatives……………… hell I am not used to lifting my skirt for every strange distant relative to take a look at it and rub something on it such as…………. Tiger Balm ….which burns then itches again leaving you with a now big brown itchy lump.

Now you know why I said I always feel like a child in both vampire society and human society  ……………. Who else do you know would have to raise their skirt to let a person one has never seen before …….. and without a doctors degree look up your skirt and make comments………….. Hell ok they say they are a relative …. But ………..oh embarrassing and ………. Well ……..there is me thinking daily that that I must wear my best underwear and perhaps should iron them first ……….  as I do not know who will want to look up my skirt today !!!!   

You humans do not and I repeat do not live a normal LIFE !!!!!


2 comments:

  1. Oh my dear Amy, What is exactly normal?

    ReplyDelete
  2. normal is having guys want to look up your skirt !

    ReplyDelete