Monday, July 8, 2013
Dating Sexy Young Vampire Girls
Being a Day Walker type of Vampire Girl
Ok let’s see if I can be of help to our teenage vampire readers, lots of humans get it very wrong about what a vampire can or can’t do, and as I have said many times, it is the fault of the film industry and popular TV showing the evil actions of criminals such as Buffy and Blade .
So let’s talk about the dreaded sunlight and the fact I am a daywalker... Er...ok so maybe more of ... Overcast Rainy Day Walker...or Foggy, or Snowing ...look, do you get it? Sunlight is a problem... If I say I am a day walker it sounds kinda cool...but as a overcast or rainy day walker it just sounds sad...But Strong sunlight is a problem for any vampire. The Undead sort have the worst time as they can burn in strong light, but we living ones also suffer.
Sunlight is deadly to a Turnling/Undead (a human turned into a Vampire) and it is not a pretty sight to see one of our undead maids forgetting the time and stepping out into a nice sunny day... Yuck...
FANGS RULE; a girls guide to being a vampire is a young Adult book for anyone between Puberty and Senility as it takes a close up look at life as a female teenage vampire in easy to follow A to Z advice for the reader.
Giving helpful advice such as how to explain to your Mom that as a teenage blood curdling denizen of the night you would like to paint your cave bedroom black without having a shouting match over why you don’t like the way she painted the stalagmites bright pink to go with the large stuffed pink bats hanging from the ceiling.
Everything is explained from how to polish your fangs to fashion tips and ways of climbing across a ceiling wearing a nightdress without showing your underwear.
Fangs Rule is a must for every teenage vampire and from these pages you will see why Amy says “Vampires Don’t Sparkle! …. They Bite!
Let me read you an excerpt:
BOYFRIENDS (also see DATING)
Boyfriends are boys that are not friends. Handsome, charming, caring, strong, sweet, cute, hot, fit... Er...the difference is obvious. If not then you are still too young for a boyfriend and should stick with your stuffed bats.
Meeting the boyfriend's parents for the first time is a problem, like what to wear and how to act. It's best to have some simple rules to follow.
1. Don't talk about boys you have bitten or have bitten you in the past.
2. Don't tell risky stories like the first time you came on heat and what you tried to do with the head of the council until guards pulled you off him and forced you to give back his pants.
3. Don't offer to raise your dress to show them your family brand at the dinner table.
4. Don't comment on the food, ever. Even if it is still alive and you have to catch it before it runs off, if you have to say anything just point out how you enjoy frisky fresh food.
5. Lastly, no matter how weird, strange, odd, peculiar and down right creepy his parents are or act, try very hard not to point this out to him.
A: Strangely he has somehow failed to notice.
B: Or, he has noticed and is praying hard that you haven't.
C: Remember what your own are like.
Yes, I know our claws are naturally sharp but we should still use a block of wood as a scratching post so as to keep our fingernails strong. I keep a few blocks of wood under the bed so that I can (as my Aunt calls it) "play the piano" while watching TV wildlife films. Some people say it's not ladylike to do this but my Aunt informs me that it is perfectly normal for a girl to play with herself in this way. But I do wish my Aunt would word it differently.
Hi, Thanks for coming to visit today at Book Reader's Heaven! My name is Amy Mah and I am Asian Chinese by looks, I could say that I am oriental looking, but if I do, people would think I look like a carpet.
I’m in my 20s with a very strange sense of humor, I look at the world and see how stupid it is and like to point this out, to know what I mean just read my blog:
I just love anime and manga and so I have had my own image turned into a manga cartoon which is what you will see in my books.
What else? Well I think faster than I can type...and I type faster than I can spell.
See more of me and my book -- visit my website
Follow me at http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com/