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Sunday, April 13, 2014

How to Raise your IQ by Eating Gifted Children


How to Raise your IQ by Eating Gifted Children 




Yes this has to be a joke on purpose........ Punctuation would be a good idea or after eating the children perhaps placing the green words above the red would show an IQ improvement

5.0 out of 5 stars Delicious!
By M. Green - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback

Just ate my first gifted child and let me tell you, I feel smarter already. It is a lot of work as gifted childern are hard to come by, but after finding the first and chowing down I'm finally ready to get that GED.


Lewis Burke Frumkes, one of America's very best satirists, sharpens his pen on the fads, fears, and fashions of the urban landscape. Here are 49 hilarious ways to cope with them. Explore the benefits of aerobic typing. Wile a friend with "Exotic Gifts from Harry and Larry" including "Road Imperial Valium—America's Favorite Tranquilizer—Only Better." Take charge of your next meeting with Frumkes's "New Rules of Order," which include Blurting, Interrupting, and Bullwhipping. Jump in the saddle and rope a roach—apartment style. And, of course, raise your I.Q. with a delicious "Gifted Child Fricassee."

About the Author
Lewis Burkes Frumkes is a writer/humorist/teacher/broadcaster. In addition to the many books he's written his writing has appeared in many venues, including Harper's, Punch and the New York Times. He has taught Humanities at Marymount Manhattan College and Harvard University. He lives in New York City.

see book link

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Raise-Your-Eating-Gifted-Children-ebook/dp/B007WPPAIS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1397390495&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+raise+your+iq+by+eating+gifted+children








NOW FOR MY VAMPIRES









A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.



Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).






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