WWaking up Naked in Strange bed with a Hangover and No memory of how you got there
by Amy Mah Vampire
Being a Day Walker type of Vampire Girl
So let’s talk about the dreaded sunlight and the fact I am a daywalker..
. Er...ok so maybe more of ... Overcast Rainy Day Walker...or Foggy, or Snowing ...look, do you get it? Sunlight is a problem...
If I say I am a day walker it sounds kinda cool...but as a overcast or rainy day walker it just sounds sad...But Strong sunlight
is a problem for any vampire.
The Undead sort have the worst time as they can burn in strong light, but we living ones also suffer.
Sunlight is deadly to a Turnling/Undead (a human turned into a Vampire) and it is not a pretty sight to see one of our undead maids forgetting the time
I have told you many times I am a living Vampire this means I was born one ok
& not some human girl that get a hicky and wakes up undead, that sort is the fixed in
time the sex mad blood sucker you will see in the movies ……….. Yes they are the
Ones in the backseats of the movie house making slurping noises.
No I am a living vampire and by human standards I grow older slower which means I
still look like a teenager …………. So ripping someone’s head off and using their
neck as a straw is fine but I am not allowed to go into a bar and order a drink.
So apart from being arrested for underage drinking due to attacking drunks we have
the same problems that any teenager has such with booze but ours is more taken second hand via someones neck.
Waking up Naked in strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.
Bed and sleeping with people is always a problem and as I always say Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian sometimes
it just means the central heating needs fixing.
So back to waking up naked in strange bed with a hangover and no memory of how you got there, every drinking girls nightmare, along with the worry of
where you left your clothes.
So you slowly open your eyes and painfully look around a strange room which from the décor shouts rather too loudly of cheap motel …….
and the way your head feel it says it far too laud even if it whispered it.
A cheap nylon sheet is covering you …….er ………..and that is all you have covering you ………. A fur coat would have been nice …….shut up …….
you don’t mind who I kill and eat but you object to me liking fur ….huh………….you humans are so odd if I said a human corpse covering you would not have cared !!!
Is it all that is covering you …er…yes you check twice and a single piece of coloured cord around ones wrist does not count!
Supporting the local cat’s home is very charitable but does not count as clothing.
So what happens next?
1. A man leaves some money on the bed side table as he puts on his trousers and leaves …………
Action: ……….you scream ……………. What just $20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. You turn to one side and see a naked man and two naked female fashion models in bed with you
Action: Roll over and go back to sleep you are ether in some guys dream or if real with the fashion models in bed with you than you know your honor is quite safe.
3. There is Eric the vampire from true blood in next to you in bed
Action: ………….. Pounce on him ….he is not going to get away again!
4. You notice the room is empty apart from a pile of female clothes which are not yours.
Action :………. ….You know that no matter how short the skirt is you will go without underwear today as there is just no way you are ever going to
put on another persons used underwear!
5. You look down and see you are now a guy You have changed sex during the night !!!! And then you hear
a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again?.
Action:……………. Hope whatever the new extra bits you have know what they are going to do with out you having to order an owner’s manual from Amazon,
but then as you stare at what is between your legs and now you more fear that the bigger problem will be trying to fit back into the micro dress you had on last night
6. You look down and you are still female but you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again.
Action: ……………. Telling her you have a headache only works on guys so you look on the bright side no matter what went on its now too late and turn to her
thinking at least you won’t get pregnant.
7. You look down at your hand and discover a gold band on your wedding finger and snoring coming from someone near you in bed.
Action………………. Panic ! all you can remember are day glow cocktails with strange names like oblivion and something so pretty that it could not be alcoholic……….
You can only remember talking to two people last night 1. a long distant truck driver who got his tattoos while in jail and 2. the bartender you are really praying
it is the bartender next to you and then you remember the bartender was female and remembering the tattoos still pray it is the bartender!
8. You look around the empty room and remember that you booked yourself in last night just after being sick over the guy you fancied
and you did not even remember eating peas. But he refused to take you home so you crashed here.
Action:……………….You pray to all the gods you know thanking them for the pounding head and the feeling of still wanting to be sick as it could have been far worse!
Where to buy "FANGS RULE" A Girls Guide to being a Vampire
Where to buy "VAMPIRE the strange life of a teenage Vampire"