Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Blade as viewed by a Vampire

Here we have a dark blood thirsty murdering evil that walks the night in search of new ways of killing ………

……. Am I talking about vampires?

No, I am talking about Blade! This monster is a cross between Buffy and Van Helsing but on Acid!

He is very special as he is a day walker type of vampire, this is very rare, but does he use his great gift for good? No just for death and mayhem, which is dished out with such great pleasure, to both his own kind and humans?

He likes to kill with a sword as he says it is a good way to kill vampires ……

….. duh …Like it is a good way to kill most things in both the undead and living world the loss of a head is nature’s way of saying goodbye to the need of visiting a hairdresser ever again.

So that he does not need to drink blood he has a special drug that has to be injected regularly as takes away his blood addiction, one just wishes it would also take away his gross antisocial habits.

Ho yes the drug also make you vomit if you eat food so not someone you will ever wish to have a meal with.

Different from the films in the TV series he has two partners          er…..  well I say partners “Shen” is someone to help with weapons and whom he treats like a vampire pet, and Krista who when turned into a vampire looks to me more normal when she is not taking the drug ……………. Well she kills a lot less people when not on the drug, so I think perhaps it is the drug that makes her evil.

Like the time when two vampires were helping to drive her to a meeting and she just killed them without any real reason!

See evil, ……… What normal person would do something like that if they were not on drugs!

But then normal goes out the window when Krista has to go swimming in a pool of blood ……….. er…. how stupid is that?
Just a way of letting everyone on the film set know she is female.

So the idea given of being nude is so she does not make the blood dirty? ……er……….Like would you like to drink it afterwards? And perhaps being the one that finds her pubic hairs in you mouth yuk     ………… and she was under the surface for like 10 hours …….without visiting the bathroom? …………. God she must have a bladder made of cast iron! And another reason not to risk drinking blood people have bathed in!

She must have been just sitting under the surface of the blood with her legs crossed as there is not a lot you can do in blood…………… it is way too sticky to swim in and it separates so quickly when it starts to congeal that you would need to brake the surface scab to let her out ……….

So this is a very good TV series about a mass murderer, someone that has nothing better to do but kill tax paying vampires and their human servants ………..sorry …ok he does not always kill the human servants…no sometimes he just gauges out the eyes!  ..  Er episode 12 – 13 …..for gods sake the now blind man was only an architect and all he was doing is designing a meeting house so why be so nasty? Look at the new jobs he had helped create on building construction sites and now he is blind.

Going back to Blade who is something like a born vampire who started out by just killing people for blood like a normal vampire and then turning the only people that befriended him into vampires leaving left them to be ostracized by the rest of the vampire world because of what Blade got up to by killing vampires for pleasure.

At this point we learn that all gang members that were his friends and have the same gang tattoos as blade has and when they meet up he kills them all!  Well that is not someone I would like to have as a friend on Facebook.

Apart from the normal day to day killings he is kinda pissed off with the House of Chthon but never quite sure why as it is a very good vampire business which supports the arts and local politics, the manager of the House is a turnling called Marcus he is mega cute and without the drug Krista enjoyed being bedded by him on a number of occasions, at least once while Blade watches! The Pervert!!

The ending of the series is good but needs a second series hopefully showing a great and glorious permanent death of blade so that we can all sleep a little easier in out coffins.

1 comment:

  1. Not seen the TV series. The first movie has a great scene, the vampire disco complete with blood sprinklers, and a pounding techno beat.