Showing posts with label dream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dream. Show all posts

Friday, May 31, 2013

Dollhouse A Guys Dream but a Girls Nightmare.





Dollhouse
A Guys Dream but a Girls Nightmare.

Hummmm Dollhouse is defiantly a male fantasy, just think about it you are pimped out for 5 years like some 3rd world whore and they say you will not remember so it does not matter.

You just go to sleep and then wake up next day with a body that has aged 5 years over night with the start of terminal cellulite and a virginal area that feels more like an old boot.

Plus you can’t even use a phone as your grasp on modern technology is on par with your grandmother.









Now for the Adverts:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>








FANGS RULE

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.








VAMPIRE 

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).












Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sex Dreams

Sex Dreams

My Aunt says it is normal for a girl my age and nothing to worry about and then she took a look through my movie collection and removed some of the er… more spicy ones.

I am talking about D for dreams in my A to Z of being a female vampire and I still do not think it is not normal waking up in need of a cold shower!

The Dream: I was sitting on a roof getting ready for dinner, but instead of my usual hunting clothes all I was wearing was a thin night dress, I did not feel cold but you could still hang coats off my chest!

I looked over the edge of the roof and below was this boy changing shirts, he had a selection in front of him and was trying one on after another but finding them too small so pulled them off over his head in disgust and dropping them to the floor creating a large pile of discarded shirts.

Next I was standing next to him with a larger shirt that I know would fit him but he insisted I trying on the small ones which did not fit, in the end I grabbed the small shirt off him saying it was mine and handed him the large one, he took it but then he waited expecting me to put on the smaller one, I knew he wouldn’t put the large one on until I tried on the smaller one which I said was mine and I also knew I couldn’t remove my nightdress in front of him to put it on as I was naked under my nightdress.

That’s when I woke up……….

Ok so what was that all about?

P.S. the little pic advert from Amazon at the top left of this page is of my book coming out in 2011, FANGS RULE a girls guide to being a vampire