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Monday, June 20, 2011

Dressing up as a French Maid and tieing a guy naked to a bed


Hummmmmmmmmm todays blog? Or should I say todays moan.

Now I like Guys ……… ok so mostly with tomato sauce but ……….. it’s a start …………. Look I’m a vampire and well if someone tastes good then it is gods will that they should die …………..er of course that is correct ……

….. god says unto man go forth and multiple ……


… god says unto Vampire.. Lunch is served !!!!!

Not that we the vampire race are that much into gods and such like.

Just think of ancestor worship ……….. like so many of my ancestors are still walking around ! ………….

………. Not so much needing to pray to them with incense for guidance and advice but more like sending them an Email !!

And your new human religions are ………. Well how can we listen to the holy advice written down from a prophet that one of your older relatives chatted to…………  and brings up the same funny story of his meeting with him in the desert every family gathering!

…boring….. saying the only wise thing he could remember him for was the way he passed wind loudly and blamed it on the camel.

It is stupidity in the male gender that gets me ……… they should know their place…………er……………tied to a bed waiting to satisfy me.


Human males are stupid but then again so are some male vampires …………… perhaps it’s the lack of blood to the brain every time they get excited………….  

One often hears stories around the nest of what some stupid male is doing or has done……..

Just because a male is 5 time stronger than a female they get it in their stupid heads that they are in control !

They have all the human females they can eat ……. And yet they just want to play with their food. ……… “You did what to her?! Well I’m not touching her now you pervert!”

Dumb males………… next they step up to a female vampire and drop their pants as if to impress us

………….. Impress a female vampire by dropping ones pants?! Like our hunger and sharp teeth would make a shawl of Piranha fish envious and they drop their pants in front our face, as if we were some sex staved human female …..huh………..

I once heard of a male that was so stupid he told his wife that she no was no longer exciting him in bed and that if she did not do something he would go else where………

………. Of course she took it to heart and tried her best to please him …………..

She dressed up as a French maid and lovingly removed his clothes before tieing him to the bed ……………… she then slowly removed her clothes until all she was wearing was a smile……… the effect on him was obvious …………. And he could not believe his luck when she then started covering his private parts with honey…..

….yes that night their relationship changed ………..

…….. Ho yes I forgot to say …….. she then left the room and returned with a bees nest which she placed it on his chest …………. Before leaving again saying as she left that she was going out with her girlfriends and would see him in the morning …………..

As far as I remember he never complained about his sex life being boring ever again………. And in fact some of the extra swellings from the stings made his wife very happy.

AlliKatNya Sings Paperback Writer - The Beatles

1 comment:

  1. Your reviewer was obviously not thinking with his brain that is in his head like the majority of the male gender.

    I do like that wife. That's the kind of tip to keep in the back of your mind!

    ReplyDelete