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Friday, January 6, 2017

VAMPIRE CLAWS

VAMPIRE CLAWS

With Vampires all the talk is on Fangs where as so little is talked about the useful vampire tools of 20 sharp and great looking claws.


Claws are weapons and tools and not just something to polish, paint red and scratch hard to reach parts of your body with.

I have often explained how useful they are for opening easy open packs of cookies along with the need to keep them clean and sharp using a block of wood at bed time.

It can be very restful to lie on ones back ripping apart a block of wood as one strengthens ones fingers and toes.

I do so wish my Aunt would not call it girls playing with themselves in bed to make ones fingers stronger as I am sure people will misunderstand such wording… sighing so silly to misunderstand the comment as heck that sort of behaviour is what we have maids for.

But the reason they pop out in times of need is rarely spoken about outside classes on personal vampire hygiene.



I can only talk of the living vampire here but the simple reason they work so well is that you do not need to think about un-sheathing them, it kinda just happens.

Now I suspect it works something like ones bladder Er? Ok not quite as your bladder but in the way muscles are always on so relaxing muscles will instantly give you the ability to make water or in the case of a vampire show off your wall climbing tools.


Now a word of warning it is not a good idea to stand behind any vampire and shout “BOO” as unlike a human being surprised may produce a puddle of water with a vampire it is more likely they will remove the heads of anyone within 20feet as a shock response, or just anger of having ruined yet another pair of shoes by the extending of foot claws by accident.       









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