Boob and Nipple protection Vampire Style

HELSING Boob protection Vampire Style 

The Helsing is named after Van Helsing the Vampire killer, and is a type of body armour.

As the humans know the best way to kill us is a stake in the heart or cutting the head off. This is what they always go for - along with garlic, which is a myth created by people wanting to sell more garlic, and and holy water, which is a myth created by the church seeking donations for repairing their roofs.

Humans are a little stupid over this. As a species Vampires are very intelligent and long-lived and it didn't take us long to work out that we live a lot longer if we can stop people sticking a sharp piece of wood between our boobs.

Helsing Armour is a metal plate which fits over the heart and is fitted as standard into clothing such as "The Hunter" and "The Fighter," or added as extra detachable plating. It is worn under the shirt of the Male, and cloaks have high metal collars so to protect the neck from a sword blow. Females can have a Helsing fitted into a bodice, or have it made to look like an ornate bra.

Helsings are always designed for positioning over the heart area of the chest to make it impossible for the wearer to be stabbed in the heart with a wooden stake. It would even stop silver bullets, swords, knives or in the case of one particular nasty killing in a Vampire film, stiletto heels. Vampires are traditionalists but we are not stupid, we've seen all the films on the subject and are normally the people who laugh in a cinema when a movie Vampire did something so stupid as to let his lunch kill him.

You do not have to have expensive clothing like the 'Hunter' tight and sexy and wow does it get the food drooling  ... when going out for a quick snack. You can just wear your normal clothes, and then you can take the prey by surprise. While it is looking at your legs or looking down your top you can be getting out a packet of tissues to clean yourself up afterwards.

It is very eye catching and visually pleasing for watchers to your hunting, if you wear a light flowing dress. This is always fashionable due to the fact that it rises into the air when you spin around, giving the prey and viewers a nice flash of leg. But no matter how proud you are of your family brand, in these circumstances the best thing to wear underneath is a tight fitting pair of black cycle shorts - see the movie 'Blood the last Vampire' where you can see 'Saya' leap, spin, somersault and kill without any worry of showing off her brand to strangers. Or even the fact you are in need of a personal fainforest trim +++++++++++++ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0EvCM2mqt4

First Date Bras, advice for guys on what goes where and why

First Date Bras !!!!!!!!!

Ok Guys here is some advice on the many types of bra

Front clasp: (also known as a front loader) don’t worry about trying to undo this as you will only make a mess of it, we would normally pop it open for you letting you think it has done it by itself or by magic.

Sports bra: no clasps so we will need to remove a top to take it off……… but don’t worry, they so flatten the boobs that they are not normally worn on a date.

Back Clasp: (Also known as a male created fastener and unless you are a monkey it takes lots of practise) this is the major one we will be talking about tonight.

You are on a date with a girl and the first base of kissing went better than you expected so you move on to second base and to your surprise she did not slap you, so it is now boob fondling time and the problem is that unless you are very lucky and she is not wearing one you as a guy will need to make the first move, and that is undoing it ……… yes you ……… you will know if she objects by little hints such as slamming her back against a wall and so breaking a few of your fingers. …..er…………also playing with it as if it is an elastic band when you are past the age of 14 is a no no ………….

How To Undo Her Bra With One Hand

Here are a few helpful hints

1. you know you are fumbling about for too long when the girls undoes it for you ……you wimp

‎2. if you have cold hands when on the back believe be when i say she will not let you go anywhere near her front

‎3. don't pull on the straps on at the time, so not a good idea as it is uncomfortable, look nature placed boobs on our front, trying to drag them about singlely by playing on the straps is not something that should be tried on the first date.

‎4. Any ideas on playing with the nipples should be left to at least a second date ………… as to flicking them, pinching prodding or biting should be my mutual agreement ……and no you can’t ask her! ………..  HMG if you can’t work this out forget about ever reaching 4^thbase! 

Personally in a relationship I am the only one allowed to bite and besides girls nipples are more sensitive than a guys so amusing games such as to pinching or flicking of a nipple where I am concerned means accidentally kneeing the guy in the nuts 3 – 4 times ………..well accidents do happen. 

5. On no account say anything about the marks left by the bra ……yes we already know that bras leave strap marks and so don’t need reminding.

6. If you still need instruction after you have reached Sophomore  .....er.............. give up !

Now that you can handle a bra try picking up a fun book to read

Sarcastic and cynical vampires all with good fitting bras ....yes even the male vampires have them..... 

OK we can them Helsings and they don't just give a little lift and support but as they are made of metal they are also silver bullet and wooden stake proof

www.fangsrule.com