today I discovered I have a page on a dating site for my vampire quotes!

And today I discovered I have a page on a dating site for my vampire quotes! 

 http://meetville.com/quotes/author/amy-mah/page1

AMY MAH QUOTES AND SAYINGS

Best sayings, famous quotes, interesting quotations, amazing citations

Popular Authors

If people don't wish to be eaten then they shouldn't taste so nice.

Amy Mah

people, night

It you taste nice I may bite!

Amy Mah

girls, teenagers

Amy! Sit correctly, you are wearing a dress...feet on the floor and your knees together girl...You are trying to catch a husband, not flies !

Amy Mah

trying, teenagers, husband

Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian, sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing.

Amy Mah

needs, girls, mean

www.fangsrule.com

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

Dating Sexy Young Vampire Girls

Welcome Amy Mah on Her Blog Tour - A Day Walker Type of Vampire Girl...

Being a Day Walker type of Vampire Girl

Ok let’s see if I can be of help to our teenage vampire readers, lots of humans get it very wrong about what a vampire can or can’t do, and as I have said many times, it is the fault of the film industry and popular TV showing the evil actions of criminals such as Buffy and Blade .

So let’s talk about the dreaded sunlight and the fact I am a daywalker... Er...ok so maybe more of ... Overcast Rainy Day Walker...or Foggy, or Snowing  ...look, do you get it? Sunlight is a problem...  If I say I am a day walker it sounds kinda cool...but as a overcast or rainy day walker it  just sounds sad...But Strong sunlight is a problem for any vampire. The Undead sort have the worst time as they can burn in strong light, but we living ones also suffer. 

Sunlight is deadly to a Turnling/Undead (a human turned into a Vampire) and it is not a pretty sight to see one of our undead maids forgetting the time and stepping out into a nice sunny day... Yuck... 

FANGS RULE; a girls guide to being a vampire  is a young Adult book for anyone between Puberty and Senility as it takes a close up look at life as a female teenage vampire in easy to follow A to Z advice for the reader.

Giving helpful advice such as how to explain to your Mom that as a teenage blood curdling denizen of the night you would like to paint your cave bedroom black without having a shouting match over why you don’t like the way she painted the stalagmites bright pink to go with the large stuffed pink bats hanging from the ceiling.

Everything is explained from how to polish your fangs to fashion tips and ways of climbing across a ceiling wearing a nightdress without showing your underwear.

Fangs Rule is a must for every teenage vampire and from these pages you will see why Amy says “Vampires Don’t Sparkle! …. They Bite!

Let me read you an excerpt:

BOYFRIENDS (also see DATING)

Boyfriends are boys that are not friends. Handsome, charming, caring, strong, sweet, cute, hot, fit... Er...the difference is obvious. If not then you are still too young for a boyfriend and should stick with your stuffed bats.

Meeting the boyfriend's parents for the first time is a problem, like what to wear and how to act. It's best to have some simple rules to follow.

1. Don't talk about boys you have bitten or have bitten you in the past.

2. Don't tell risky stories like the first time you came on heat and what you tried to do with the head of the council until guards pulled you off him and forced you to give back his pants.

3.  Don't offer to raise your dress to show them your family brand at the dinner table.

4.  Don't comment on the food, ever. Even if it is still alive and you have to catch it before it runs off, if you have to say anything just point out how you enjoy frisky fresh food.  

5.  Lastly, no matter how weird, strange, odd, peculiar and down right creepy his parents are or act, try very hard not to point this out to him.

Reasons:

A:  Strangely he has somehow failed to notice.

B:  Or, he has noticed and is praying hard that you haven't.

C:  Remember what your own are like. 

CLAW MAINTENANCE

Yes, I know our claws are naturally sharp but we should still use a block of wood as a scratching post so as to keep our fingernails strong. I keep a few blocks of wood under the bed so that I can (as my Aunt calls it) "play the piano" while watching TV wildlife films. Some people say it's not ladylike to do this but my Aunt informs me that it is perfectly normal for a girl to play with herself in this way. But I do wish my Aunt would word it differently.    

Hi, Thanks for coming to visit today at Book Reader's Heaven! My name is Amy Mah and I am Asian Chinese by looks, I could say that I am oriental looking, but if I do, people would think I look like a carpet.

I’m in my 20s with a very strange sense of humor, I look at the world and see how stupid it is and like to point this out, to know what I mean just read my blog:

I just love anime and manga and so I have had my own image turned into a manga cartoon which is what you will see in my books.

What else?  Well I think faster than I can type...and I type faster than I can spell.

See more of me and my book -- visit my website 

at www.FangsRule.com

Follow me at http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com/  

http://www.amazon.com/The-Night-Eternal-Vampire-Mistress/dp/1874192472/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1373281613&sr=8-8&keywords=amy+mah

http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Color-Illustrated-Novel-Night/dp/1874192618/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1373281613&sr=8-9&keywords=amy+mah

http://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule-Girls-Guide-Vampire/dp/1874192480/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1373281613&sr=8-7&keywords=amy+mah

visit               www.fangsrule.com

How to manage a guy without breaking his fingers on the first date

H

Want to see a very funny guide on what to do with a guy .................... try this is is is is is  very funny !!!!

A Girls Guide to Guys (Meeting them managing them and all that love stuff) with lots of manga art by the same artist that did mine

I will attach a few links for you to see what I am saying:

 The unknown world of boys has been a problem that has plagued girl-kind for many a century.

What do you say to them? Which ones should you avoid? And what is going on in that little brain of theirs when they look at you? If only they came with a manual or something...Well now they do!

A lovely step by step guide that's split into easy stages, taking you from finding the right kind of boy for you right up to ending a relationship and starting all over again. Wave goodbye to worrying about what kind of shoes to wear for a date or how to make the first move; it has all been covered.

But how do you use this brilliant little tool?

Well, if you want you can read through each chapter and follow the advice you find in it step by step. But there's also a handy content list at the beginning of each stage so you can skip to any section you want to read about.

Keep a look out for sections called friends; these bits are dedicated to how to keep the balance between boyfriends and girlfriends.

Also included is Outfits for all occasions, your very own boutique complete with personal stylist to make sure you get your right look every time. To begin with it would help if we found out a little bit more about those strange creatures we call boys.

They can be a bit tricky to understand so it's best to liken them to something most girls know a little bit more about. Like shoes. Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful.

But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them.

Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical. Like shoe shopping, you need to get to know what's out there before you make your final purchase. Your first task, should you choose to accept it, is one of girl kind's most notable hobbies...with a twist...boy shopping! To make things even easier, included here is the very first boy catalogue giving you an extensive look into all the boys on the market.

Good luck and happy shopping!

www.gabby-guides.com

http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-Guys-Meeting-Managing/dp/1874192049/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318164288&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-Guys-Paperback-ebook/dp/B005TAHO8M/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=A7B2F8DUJ88VZ

Look inside the book free:

http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-Guys-Paperback-ebook/dp/B005TAHO8M/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=A7B2F8DUJ88VZ#reader_B005TAHO8M

Please find below  the early buy links for this title :

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005TAHO8M

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005TAHO8M

https://www.amazon.de/dp/B005TAHO8M

https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B005TAHO8M

Advertising for a boyfriend and sleeping with a naked girl for the first time.

Sleeping with a naked girl for the first time, and advertising for a boyfriend

As I said before I was in SE Asia for Chinese New Year.

In SE Asia the rules are different, ok some are the same, don’t talk to boys or they will think you are easy…………….. yes right … like that is going to stop a girl.

You may not just go up and talk with him or rather send a friend over but you are happy to write your cell phone number on an orange and throw in a lake.

ITS TRADITIONAL ! like how long have we had cell phones let alone waterproof felt tipped pens.

I think it is called “Chap Goh Meh” and happens at the end of the 15 day Chinese New Year.

All Chinese maidens and that’s me, look I am unmarried so it is obvious I am still a maiden ………SHUT UP !  can get a boy by throwing an orange into the lake

I watched as some girls wrote a Facebook address other braver ones put a cell number on it, it should be the luck of a draw but one girl had a bag of about 30 oranges each covered with witty messages along with her date of birth, pretty hearts and an email address, done in red and black waterproof pen and must have taken her all day …………….

Boys line the bank with 20 ft long fishing poles, but the keener boys were in the water keeping an eye open for which girl threw which orange, one girl had about three guys fight over her orange so I don’t see her staying single for long.

As to me? Wellllll I wrote my book details on two of them ……er…………….. ok so I also added my email but not one replied so I guess mine must have sunk.     

While I am thinking of my Chinese New Year trip I may as remind you all of a change of life event that took place this year and that was the time my cousin removed her underwear and got in bed with me.

I promised to let you have all the details of my trip to Asia and well ……………..one of the most embarrassing things happened at night.

HMG well I never thought I would find myself sleeping with another girl I mean like together not just in the same room but in the same bed and then discover she had roving hands !!! and it was no where as exciting as when guys talk about what happens………

God this is so embarrassing to say   ….well ………… there is a first time for everything ……. Forget the worry about the embarrassment of being a girl trying to buy condoms in a shop just remember to buy ear plugs ……………… heck did she snore!

Guys are always so interested to know what goes on when two girls sleep together, (perverts !!!!)

……well anyway I will tell you ! …………. It was well kinda .er…….different ……...and well I did not do anything much myself………….

As to what strange urges happen well it is true I did get some strange urges when her hand slowly moved up my inner leg ……….. The urge was to try and sneak away and get a hotel room………. On my own !!!

It was not that I even knew her ……..well…ok……. she is a cousin ………… and she seamed to take a liking to me during the day ……..but liking each other as cousins means shopping together and  sharing an ice cream in the mall ………… moving into my bed on the pretence that the aircon was too powerful and she was cold…………. Well that is something I would have expected more from a guy…….

…. All she had on was a tee ……… and no don’t ask me why, perhaps she liked the freedom, ok it was a long Tee but she was defiantly naked under it,  look  if she had not raised it to scratch I would not have know it was the only item she had on.

To prove she was cold she placed her hands between my thighs and ……..look I am not that sort of girl ! even more of a shock when she pushed her face into my boobs……giving out a little giggle….

What am I a pillow !! ……….heck…….  I just hoped she was not going to bite anything !……….  well you try and explain teeth marks on ones boobs!

Ok try again ………….. you try and give a believable reason why you have teeth marks on your boobs

The only way I could stop her hands locating more intimate places was to hug her …………pulling her even more into my chest I locked an arm around her and stroked he hair, so??????? 

and that was all that happened until she fell asleep, then I discovered that I was now trapped in the bed with miss roving hands ……….. Could not move without waking her and so that was my first time sleeping with a naked girl………

Er………..perhaps I should point out that my cousin is 6 years old and her mother was sleeping the other side of the room in another bed with my cousins two other sisters ………

Well even at that young age I still think her morals are very poor to sleep with someone just because I shared an ice cream with her …………….

It ended up that I had to cuddle her all night ! everytime I stopped to get comfy she started to fidget ………… God I have had boyfriends that have needed less physical attention.

I still wonder what happened to my oranges …………. Sigh …………………..