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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Vampires and Bodice Ripping Rampant SEX


Vampires and Bodice Ripping Rampant SEX

Why the title of bodice ripping sex when all I have to offer is a new black poker dot dress and if you try to rip that off me in a fit of sexual passion then you may well feel in heaven as I will kill you!!

The reason for the title is that I am now being linked to porn site!

Mostly because the word vampire is used a lot in sex sites ….er…..so……..I have been told ……….

My publisher tells me the author of the book :………..Vampire Kisses …………. Was very surprised at the number of porn sites linking to her book! ….and the reason is the words of the title….vampire kisses is a sex term about drawing blood when having sex….heck …..sex? ………..the only thing I am thinking of when biting is what should I finish off with strawberry cheese cake or the ice-cream …..

So if you want lots and lots of sex in a book please by mine! ………..you won’t find any ………. but I need the sales! ……….and well are you really going to return it to the shop saying you want more sex……er……god  …………. You will sound so sad!

Please guys think about it………..I am a real full blood vampire ……..er……..that means a different species…..ok………….. yes ……….. I know male vampire are always having sex with human girls but some human guys do it with .....sheep! ……… and they don’t put that on their CV’s

Er…………… I think you humans forget your place at times…………… we do not hate you……….we even have nice names for you……………. Er……….Lunch ………

It is the sex starved undead female vampires you should think of when you see the Hollywood films ……..if you try to impress a real full blood female vampire by dropping your pants you may be upset to find she is not thinking of sex but more thinking of perhaps a bread roll some unions and mustard …………..  having a mouth full of very sharp fangs should make you very nervous!   



4 comments:

  1. OMG! I can't stop laughing. I guess your thinking of the strawberry cheese cake or ice cream is no worse then those who look for a cigarette. How gross is that? Girl, you are just too much I tell you. TOO MUCH. Hugs!

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  2. cigarettes yuck but dark ripple chocolate icecream now what girl would say no to that

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  3. You know what they say about chocolate, don't you?

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