Have you noticed that Newspaper headings are never fully what the article printed is about, it is all about just grabbing some ones attention with shocking words and it is a disgusting way to get readers…………..
My page title? …..er …..well I am going to be talking about race .. and religion …… well……………… ok, ok, ok just how come you think I get so many hits on my blogs! …………… My best ever Blog title for number of views so far was on I did on Buying Cleavage panties as it had a photo of a girl wearing a pair……………… huh …………… all my words of wisdom and all you guys want to do is ogle girls butts and before you start moaning about the title just think why you came to this page…..hehehehehehhe
Well here I am blogging to the world about my exciting life as a real living vampire …….exciting? huh !
Well let me tell you it is nothing like the films …………….. before I was discovered I lived with my human aunt and life was so hard for a cold blooded bloodsucking denizen of the night ……………… like not being able to go out after dark because it is a school night ! ……………… not that I am cold blooded which was pointed out to me by a doctor when I foolishly told him I was undead ……………. Yes I now know a beating heart is a good hint of being alive …………………. But I was young ok so now shut up !!
Vampires come in different sorts ………Undead and Living …….well of course we do and if you want to know more then you will need to read my book!
As a Race of animals you humans are odd and that is ODD in capitols, it is no wonder you were put on this earth by God as a free food supply for us.
Human females can get pregnant and they are not even on heat !!! what sort of odd animal are they…….all females must be on heat to conceive, so to be on heat permanently just shows what a immoral species humans are!
Go back to the trees you sex mad apes!
As we vampires are so no lived we only need to come on heat once every 10 or 20 years, ho we can have sex anytime but like normal creature only conceive when on heat.
As vampire girls our parents notice when we start to come on heat for the first time ..er…..well you know we kinda get a little snappy with them at that time for no reason and well the bitting chunks out of doors and decapitating the postman are just extra tell tail hints…………..
Normally parents just lock a girl in a padded room for a few days at this time and really cleaver ones also make it sound proof.
Its not funny ! as I said you humans are the odd creatures only a few weeks ago I asked a perfectly normal question on Facebook only to have all kinds of strange comments come back.
I mean it was such a simple question all I said was if God wanted guys to be missing a foreskin then they would have been born without one
………………….. and if wrong about what God wants guys could end up being banded from Heaven for having a mutilated body.
OK lets go back a few thousand years and listen in ……….. Like there they are standing in the desert, listening to Devine commands coming down in a booming voice to the loving and devoted followers
“OK WE HAVE COVERED DIET ……………….AND YES I DID WARN YOU STOP EATING THE UNICORN ……………. YES I KNOW IT WAS TASTY BUT NOW IT IS EXTINCT AND I HAVE LOST THE DESIGNS ……………… SO NOW JUST LEAVE THE POOR PIG ALONE WILL YOU!”
Well that sounds all very normal but …………………. What about this
“I NEARLY FORGOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY LITTLE JOKE LAST WEEK WHEN I SAID ALL MALES SHOULD CUT A BIT OF THEIR DICK OFF……………. HO, HO, HO, ……………….. ER WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DID NOT THINK IT WAS A JOKE?! ……….. OPPS SORRY ……………
Now if the above has not got you all asking God to strike me down I had better finish of with a couple of word definitions for you……………..
PRAY, v
To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy
SCRIPTURES, n
The Sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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