Saturday, July 23, 2011

Paranormal Romance Guild book review on Vampire books

Just had a book review by the Paranormal Romance Guild, not the best of reviews but then as a kinda negative review it is not that bad.

Everyone and I mean everyone sees something different when reading a book, remember when at school you had to analyze a book plot and well my ideas were never the same as the teachers ……………….. or other students ……..er……. or the authors …………… but then I always scored well on creative thinking.

I found the same problem at University and remember attending a weird save the world uni group, I was the only one that supported killing off sections of the populations so that we could feed the rest ……… er…. So? Well it would work ………….. I did not say it would be popular but nor is taxation.

Well here is the book review and yes I know as an author you should not comment on someone’s review but heck I wrote the darn thing so if anyone should have a say it me!

As I said as a negative review it not too bad anyway I have added a few helpful comments so read on:

Amy Mah is a teen vampire, and she has compiled an A to Z journal of what the rules are for teenage vampires. If I were a teenaged vampire, I’m sure this journal would be extremely helpful. Since I’m not – not so much. My impression is this is what a spoiled rich kid would sound like if she were a vampire.

Er Vampire …top of the food chain, and an Alpha female at that, so a far superior creature compared to turnlings and Famula, etc so reading it as a human a spoiled rich kid sums it up well, and yes being a human reviewer can be a problem, but try not to worry too much not everyone can be at the top of the food chain. 

With topics starting with Abomination (a swear word used to insult another vampire), Age, Alpha (top Vamps, best families – they rule the place) and ending with X-abilities (flying, having a tail and just racial memories), Yawn (fastest way to extend your fangs) and Zombies (Zombies, Werewolves and Vampires do not hang out together) – they have nothing in common.

Ms. Mah leads the reader through all the important facts a girl vampire needs to know to be successful living the vamp life. Per Ms. Mah, whose full vampire name is: Lady Amelia, Mistress of the Night Mare and Alpha Female from the Family of the Pink Bat, she was raised in the human world and not discovered and adopted by the Pink Bat family until she was a teen. Hence the journal, so that she could remember all the rules.

True, so true, you would not believe the trouble you can get into by biting one of the human security team that protects the nest in daylight hours, it is like having a chocolate placed on your tongue and told to ignore it, like that’s going to happen.  

The topic is definitely cute but I found it difficult to become involved in all the rules and regs, since there was no background other than the above for Ms. Mah.

Weeeeeeeee I love the idea of being a cute vampire, O just the topic not me .er……sorry ….ok read on

I’ve read many books that provide background on characters and the whys and why not’s of their actions, but I’ve always had an interest and an imagined investment in that character. If I had read a story about how Amy was raised by humans who thought she was anemic or had a blood disorder, the journal would have been more interesting, because I would want to know more about Amy because I liked her character. As it is, there are a lot of snippets of information on her life and pictures of relatives, friends and fashions but I’m not able to connect the dots into any kind of plot.

You have got your wish, this book is on all the funny rules and regulations hehehehe this book has no plot as it is a guide book, hence the title: A Girls guide to being a vampire ……but my next work fills in all the background as it is a full novel and not a guide like this one, the Novel is called “The Night Eternal” and will give you the reason why this book is so needed when dealing with other vampires. ………………. Er… and why good fitting underwear is needed.
The film clip is from Blood:The Last Vampire - Saya Fight Scene ……………. As I have always said vampires are not nice, and fights like this shows why a a nice vampire girl needs good cumfy undies ……you try doing this sort of thing in a THONG!

The topics are all great/funny but I’m not sure of the age group this is intended to reach. I definitely think any reader should be at least 16 and over. There are sexual references, comments about being in heat (that’s how they get pregnant) killing humans for their identity and human pets (converted humans who become sexual slaves and later become maids – Famula, after their vamp master gets tired of them). Depending on the reader, some of this could be offensive.

Age? Well everyone tells me it is young adult reading but then that covers readers up into the early 20s check my review page http://www.fangsrule.com/review.htm you will see what 13 year old girls write and say about it, it is so much to do with the culture background of the reader, sex is only hinted, not all adults notice the innuendo but teenagers do……….. so far no one has complained about the section on arranged marriages in vamp society and the dominance of the male in the family….being born in SE Asia my cultural views also come into play and yes where I was born it is very normal to have maids.

There were a few typos but nothing bothersome. The font (a handwriting font) was difficult to work through, but I do understand that this is for a younger reader and it would not bother them. The illustrations are very well done and provide some imagery for the topics.

Ho God yes, I found only one typo myself after it was printed but knowing my writing I am sure a few could be hiding.  

This would definitely be enjoyable for some readers; it simply did not capture my interest.

Never mind you can’t like everything you read, and my book is not the normal run of the mill type of book to read ……………………  And you still have my novel to look forward to ……………….

Reviewed by Charleen Bailey
Member of the Paranormal Romance Guild


  1. I for one liked the book and I am "cough cough" about that old. I am most definitely looking forward to the next one!

  2. I comment on my reviews. After all, everything is blog fodder!


  3. I blog my good reviews and bad reviews that way people cant say I hide anything ............. perhaps I should not make comments but can't help myself as I blog about what I am thinking at the time