Monday, September 12, 2011
Snug tight leather pants
I’m a vampire and no we don’t all own castles and are mega rich some of us are poor and have to hunt our own lunch, and I want to look good when I go out for a bite so I want leather, after long black cloaks which are useless for someone my height as I always trip over them, but leather, black leather is so nice to wear and with the right cleaning products blood stains are so easily cleaned away.
I am saving up for some expensive tight soft snug fitting leather pants and if you rich readers would spend some money and buy my book I will be able to afford them !......... …hay I may even post a photo of me wearing them ……………..
Nice snug fitting like a second skin, forget the crap about leather panties they are like so not sexy and smell when you get hot, look think about it you have to wear cotton undies under leather undies …….er………didn't you guys know that? ………… ye gods you rearly should have listened to the biology teacher at school……… where as if you wear very thin cotton panties under tight leather pants they won’t show and you will not only look good but feel good as well.
It has to be a good real leather as the man-made fibre fake stuff makes you sweat and get sticky but not in a nice way ……………… I mean it ……..a photo of me in them if you buy lots of books so that I get some money …………….
After that I want a soft leather jacket also in black so I can wear a black tee under it without a bra heheheheheeh and still be warm …………. Ho if only you would start buying more of my books ……..they are very good just look at my writeups …….
I am working on the next book and if you are lucky I will then be able to afford the jacket and maybe show you what I look like it that…………….. its up to you if you would like to see me or not…………………
Look what is wrong with you ? are you all gay or something? I have nice legs !!!!!!!!!!!!
At the moment I am selling my body or rather selling my blog space as no one has sent me any vampire books to review recently and my publisher says why not tell people of his other books and as he is the one with the money to publish my next book I can only agree with him …………..
Edward Wilson is the guy that died with Captain Scott in Antarctica 100 years, but apart from famous explorer he was an incredible artist and his great nephews have put together two books on all his paintings and drawings so first take a look at the book trailers then take a look at the links to read more about him.
My best-e friend on FB sometime posts pics of naked girls in the snow thinking that they look good, cool and sexy and how nice it would be in the snow……er…………….she lives in a hot country and so pics of snow is all cute and nice …..and this is not at all what I see in them …………. Snow is cold and damp and gives you a chill and as to sitting butt naked in snow the only body sensation you will get is frostbite and an urgent need to pee……………and hoping you don’t get icicles …………. .. well it is cold !!!
This could be the reason that more men explore Antarctica then women, they can use a bottle where as for a girl…………………….. ok ask anyone that has gone skiing why a girl has to start queuing for the toilet long before she wants to go, this is due to the time it takes to remove coats and jumpers in fact almost everything to free the straps on the salopettes and you still have not reached the thermal undies …………….. guys so have it too easy ……………… and as to sex in the snow ………………………… hahahahahaha ……..a male fantasy …………yea right like that is so going to work ………….in your dreams guys like if it take 45 min to just take a piss in a restaurant washroom …………..nothing and I mean nothing is ever going to happen on a ski slope that can not be done fully dressed!
For real antarctic explorers take a look at this:
Below you will find the full color illustrated version of Vampire by Amy Mah. The edition that I read was the first printing and was not illustrated. Since I love the new version, I have decided to share that with you.
A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.
Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).
Since the author of this unusual and humorous book is herself unusual and a bit off the charts, I am doing something a little different with this review. Of course, I mean that in the most loving way. You don't doubt me, do you, Mistress Amelia? I think it is necessary to give a brief account of how our Amy sees herself and her writing. This is borrowed from Amy's blog with some minor editing on my part. Clears throat!
The author, Amelia Mah, is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire. Following the success of her first book, "FANGS RULE A Girls Guide to being a Vampire," she has now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel. Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long. She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy.
This is not your typical vampire story where vampires are jumping in bed with humans or are entangled with werewolves for one reason or another. This is the story of a teenage vampire who is just trying to survive in her day to day existence. It is humorous and will make you laugh out loud when Amy is just being her own unique self. She has a way with words that is like no other. This book gives us insight as to how how Amy meets her boyfriend Max and becomes best friends with his sister Ice, who were introduced in her first book. Amy is so outrageous that you can't help fall in love with her. I'm sure she would have something to say about that... No matter! The book is a delight and if you are into the strange and unusual, you must get your copy and see for yourself. You better get a copy unless you want to hear from the author. She has her own version of bending you to her will. In all seriousness, get your copy, it is a great book.
Disclosure: I received a copy from the publisher for reviewing purposes.
I give Vampire 5 out of 5 stars
www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm and can be found on the amazon US and UK sites.