Saturday, May 5, 2012

First Date Bras, advice for guys on what goes where and why

First Date Bras !!!!!!!!!

Ok Guys here is some advice on the many types of bra

Front clasp: (also known as a front loader) don’t worry about trying to undo this as you will only make a mess of it, we would normally pop it open for you letting you think it has done it by itself or by magic.

Sports bra: no clasps so we will need to remove a top to take it off……… but don’t worry, they so flatten the boobs that they are not normally worn on a date.

Back Clasp: (Also known as a male created fastener and unless you are a monkey it takes lots of practise) this is the major one we will be talking about tonight.

You are on a date with a girl and the first base of kissing went better than you expected so you move on to second base and to your surprise she did not slap you, so it is now boob fondling time and the problem is that unless you are very lucky and she is not wearing one you as a guy will need to make the first move, and that is undoing it ……… yes you ……… you will know if she objects by little hints such as slamming her back against a wall and so breaking a few of your fingers. …..er…………also playing with it as if it is an elastic band when you are past the age of 14 is a no no ………….

How To Undo Her Bra With One Hand

Here are a few helpful hints

1. you know you are fumbling about for too long when the girls undoes it for you ……you wimp

2. if you have cold hands when on the back believe be when i say she will not let you go anywhere near her front

3. don't pull on the straps on at the time, so not a good idea as it is uncomfortable, look nature placed boobs on our front, trying to drag them about singlely by playing on the straps is not something that should be tried on the first date.

4. Any ideas on playing with the nipples should be left to at least a second date ………… as to flicking them, pinching prodding or biting should be my mutual agreement ……and no you can’t ask her! ………..  HMG if you can’t work this out forget about ever reaching 4thbase! 

Personally in a relationship I am the only one allowed to bite and besides girls nipples are more sensitive than a guys so amusing games such as to pinching or flicking of a nipple where I am concerned means accidentally kneeing the guy in the nuts 3 – 4 times ………..well accidents do happen. 

5. On no account say anything about the marks left by the bra ……yes we already know that bras leave strap marks and so don’t need reminding.

6. If you still need instruction after you have reached Sophomore  .....er.............. give up !

Now that you can handle a bra try picking up a fun book to read

Sarcastic and cynical vampires all with good fitting bras ....yes even the male vampires have them..... 

OK we can them Helsings and they don't just give a little lift and support but as they are made of metal they are also silver bullet and wooden stake proof


  1. No, dear, you aren't a vampire; you're a mortal sinner like I am, worthy of death. Here's my suggestion, miss gorgeous. When the Warning comes, repent and believe; then, you may join me in Heaven where I'll be your everlasting servant. Lookit my blog to see what you're missing... God bless you.

  2. Has anyone taken a look at the comments I get on my blogs, this is a BRA blog, can't I at least be an immortal sinner ? and heck I am still looking forward to an awful lot more sinning before I die as so far I have nowhere had my fair share !!!!!!!!!!!!!! we can start with a nice little sin that has words in it like he is mega rich, hung like a horse and brings chocolates