Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Just a girl living alone

      Just what is going on? Just because I am a girl living alone the world wants to play it funny with me .....so not a good idea 

      First I get adverts for sex toys from Wowcher and now to day I am send a discount voucher 

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Sharp 22" HD Ready TV, Black glass & Aluminium shelf + 2x HDMI cables

I am a private person and I have an attitude to match, If I don't know you then don't knock on my door unless you want to get bitten!

Why do people think I joke when I warn them that I have watched enough horror movies to know how to get rid of dead bodies.  

For a difference today I am getting phone call from India saying we have heard about your accident........

....... er what accident I say plus a few other comments and then they hang up .............

 (1). I am ex-directory and like how did they reach me let alone threaten me with future accidents ............... stick to the old traditional stuff like having a horse head in your bed ..........

And my bed does have a horse head sleeping in it already .....heheheh .............. don't understand? ........well go buy my first vampire novel, besides I can't help your lack of education.

How dare they hang up on me! 

 (2). perhaps they did not like the Chinese Asian accent I use when answering unknown phone calls ............... well he could not have taken offence with what I called him unless he was white and could understand Cantonese.

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

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