Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon her first book is self help guide called: Fangs Rule a girls guide to being a vampire from Reardon Publishing and is available as full colour paperback, Kindle; E Book. Amy also written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night. Later this year her book on sexy Demons will be published
Ok, like what is it with me and getting naked all the time? When on my vacation to visit family in SE Asia I found a cultural difference and as I have said before the colour of your skin no way helps keep you safe from the local water bugs………….. I may be the same colour …..Well slightly lighter ………… think about it I’m a vampire we don’t do sun bathing ! But then nor do my human relations ……..so just over a handful of degrees above the equator and one never sees sunlight as one never goes out in the sun ………
An old song “Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the sun” ………………… well Chinese in hot countries never go out in sunshine as it would make the skin dark and no one would want to marry a girl with a tan ………..well at least they have stopped with foot binding.
You will see I sometimes get confused with saying them or we and that is because I am confused over what I am ……..as I have said before in colour and looks I am Chinese but have never been to china ……………
Anyway I like to have a go at most things and so my Aunts suggested a trip to a Chinese doctor when I was feeling down with the heat and effort of thinking of ways not to meet nice young men that my Aunts had found for me…some days I thought I was wearing a for sale sign on me………..
All I know of Chinese medicine is that it tastes so bad you quickly get better so you can stop taking it …………… One sort I tried in the past had the extra bonus of cleaning out my bowels so well I went down a dress size.
As with everything I decide to try, I notice that it will mean removing my clothes in front of strangers …………..and no amount of wise words of well we are all the same there is no need to be shy will make up for the fact that it is normally me naked then others are dressed!
I have heard of cupping and scrapping before…. Film stars in Hollywood have it done, and you can always tell by the strange marks on them that look like they have been attacked by an octopus ……………. When I saw what was going to happen …….like being shown the torture instruments in case I may not notice what was happening while I am facedown naked on a table with just a thin curtain between me and someone buying rhino horn or such like.
I ask the important part ….no not the price…… like will it hurt? …………
One of my Aunts helps put my mind at rest (huh) saying:
How will I cope with child birth if I can’t suffer a little pain……………….
CHILDBIRTH !!!!!! at what part of my vacation is that planned for ??????????? ……….that’s it no way am I meeting any more nice young men!
I found this clip on Youtube:………….Reasons NOT to wear a condom …….. funny ………….
Now this is sad!No Condom - Very Funny Video ………but still funny
No Worry over guys wanting to take you to bed once you had some cupping done you look like you have already been ravaged by a demon …………. Well in my case my fangs and burning red eyes would stop any Guy doing anything without a please my permission.
So there I was laying naked on a table……………. Er…. No I still do not know why naked when it is just my back that is being done ………….. Come to that I do not know why I can’t keep my bra on! Ok I would let her undo the strap but I would still have material between me and the plastic table …………….
I think my next Vacation should be to a nudist resort there at least it will not be just me naked…………… look I don’t even walk about naked at home……… er …well yes well my cat is male and he kinda gives me funny looks if I walk about fur less ………
So the cupping is done and at the start it is ok ….no pain ….kinda niceish ……………….little glass jars are used and something is burnt in them and they are placed on my back……………….
Special points on the back like acupuncture …………. Can I tell you more……..er….no I am laying naked on a table face down and all I can see is the one on my shoulder as it begins to suck up the skin and the skin turns red and ….ouch …… yes the pain starts as the skin on my back is sucked up into little jars ……………. I am sure I have seen horror movies with this in it, at this point I should be saved by some tall blond haired hunk of a man .but no …………. And my silent screams of agony are only meet by looks of disapproval from my aunt…… ok so they are so much as silent more like semi muffled screams!
It HURTS !!!! and I can’t move ….. This is now getting even more like a horror movie all I need now is Dr Frankenstein asking for a lighting machines to be attached and a hunch back saying yesss masterrr with a lisp.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the relief as they are popped off to be finished by some scrapping …………. It helps bring blood to the surface and you can see the results in the photos I have added ………….like makes you look like you have been dragged naked over sandpaper …………..
I know it is cultural and so must be ok ………. Look so is being kissed as a greeting in Europe
………. And why did no one tell me it did not involve tongues until after ……….. well ………
….. I suspected it should have limitations when the guy finished off the greeting by groping my butt …
……….. it was only then my girlfriend told me it should just be the cheeks ……… ha ha …yes very funny ……….but I still have his phone number if I ever go back to France.
Then comes the problem in dressing like it is too painful to wear a bra for the next day or so ……….. ok so in my case no one will notice.
What does it feel like afterwards? Well in fact it feels fantastic like the best massage you could ever hope for ……………. You feel so relaxed you could flow across the floor like water …………………… okokokso it feels fantastic afterwards but as to next time let me first try and forget the pain factor.
Being female means I like to look and feel good and yes I am sometimes guilty of bending over at the waist to pick something up and of course it is purely accidental and nothing at all to do with that cute looking guy that can get a good eyeful of my butt when I do it…………….. Well he does not have to look now does he?
Female moments………….. We all have them ……………. I had my hair done last week and it now rains every day……scream ……………..
Anyone know how to get baby oil stains out of underwear? No? ho ok I will just have to stick them in the washing machine and hope for the best.
Yes if you must know I have got baby oil over a nice new pair of French Knickers …..yes it was my own fault I should have been naked, but I am kinda shy…………….. yes I am ……… not that it made any difference when oily hands go under your undies to massage your hidden bits…………..yes I went for another massage.
Its Summer so a friend recommended that I got some French knickers …….they said nice and cool as the legs are open so in a summer dress one gets a nice breeze around parts that don’t normally get a breeze around them, kinda like going pantie less without the worry of windy days and my mistake was to think that as they are so loose I could keep them on for a massage …………. So there is me trying to give a gentile hint that my genital region is off limits ………look normally I’m naked with a towel to cover my more private bits, which at the first chance the massaging girl moves out of the way.
So she did not ask me to remove them but instead as they are loose she went inside them ! …………… yes ok I know I can say no, but …..well you don’t ………it would sound like I was accusing her of being a lesbo or getting a thrill or something that would mean a lot more pain when she attacks my legs ………….. never upset a masseur before they have started on you.
Just every girl that massages me spend a lot of time on my butt ……….not that it is large ……I am Asian so my butt is small and …..well a hell of a lot more interesting than my bust ……….. or so I have been told. …………. Not that guys say my boobs are not interesting they kinda don’t say anything about them but by butt …bottom… posterior .. rear end ….well I do get compliments ………
After my butt I get turned over and the inner thighs are worked on ………….. ok so I am wearing panties but it still means that fingers are at times only 3cm from my Virgina and yes I also now have baby oil in my rainforest………….. so one pair of French knickers covered in baby oil……………..
Got some exciting news for all my readers and that is my friend Virgil has his book in print and taking orders for it…………
It is really, really very good and I am not saying that because he likes my book or the fact he is going to give me a signed copy but that I have read the first few chapters and it is mega good……………..
"Virgil Allen Moore is a fiction author that blends old world poetry into a cavernous novel that is as twisted as it is enthralling to read. He has spent more than seventeen years writing poetry and short fiction. This is his first full length epic novel published by Erudite Small Press. Demon Vampire comes out 10/30/2011, and will be available on Amazon.com for $18.97 (USD) and on kindle, and nook for $3.00 (USD). Pre-orders will be available on http://demonvampire.com/ for $15.97 (USD) and they will be signed by the author. Pre-order stock is extremely limited, so buy early to ensure your copy. Once they sell out, it will be another two to three weeks before another edition is released for sale.
A note from the author: If you enjoy vampires, you will be enthralled by mine. I have painted a world in which you can step into and never have to leave. The best part of the novel, is that that are many hidden truths placed into the characters, as well as a special message from me at the end of the book.
and never lets go."
Demon Vampire is an epic paranormal dark mystery that is intended for mature audiences. The vampires within are visceral. They do not sparkle, they do not brood. They are human monsters in the very sense of the words. Demon Vampire is written with a poetic mastery that is felt in every word. It draws you in from the first sentence
