Naked Demon Girl Seen in Mega Store ! Going shopping in the Nude

Naked Demon Girl Seen in 

Mega Store!

Still think a Blog title relates to the text?

Boy are you dumb.

As my books says being a vampire is not easy, 

it is not all dressing in black and spending a

fortune in dental floss

Some times I think I am a round peg sort of 

person living in a sq hole world, to day the 

local mega store had a sale on light bulbs so I

 got 15.

Yes just because I am a vampire does not mean 

I have to always have to use the dribbling black 

candles

 The automatic pay till no longer gives bags 

and there I am trying to hold 15 bulbs so I put 

them back in the basket to go look for a box.

The basket has a door sensor alarm which I set 

off looking for a box, after finding a box I set 

the alarms back off again bringing the basket 

back.

Now as for the alarms no one takes a blind bit 

of notice of them, and the thing is I wouldn't 

have cared if they had as the first to complain 

would find themselves carrying the bulbs for 

me.............

What stupid human decided that bulbs should 

come in two types of fitting?

The only reason for this is to upset anyone that 

has to stand on two boxes to reach the darn 

fitting to discover they have the wrong bulb!!!!!

What I need is an Igor servant to get the 

shopping

But no cash so ………………..

Buy a book !!!!!!!!!!

I need the Book sales to afford to produce my 

new book on Demons

Yes, I have written an adventure for a nice 

sexy Demon Girl

So buy a book

If not don’t blame me if people start 

finding an odd corpse laying outside a

 mega store with neck wounds and a 

screw fit bulb stuck in their mouth!

Amy Mah

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Vampire interviewed on the new vampire trend in blood suckers in books

CLICK HERE FOR NEW INTERVIEW

http://selahjanel.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/author-interview-amy-mah/

Neil Ostroff - DROP OUT - DEGENERATES - FROSTPROOF

DROP OUT

When the Twin Towers fell, Nathan Cruz saved the lives of dozens of strangers but the one life he could not save was that of his pregnant fiancé. Wrecked with survivor’s guilt and unresolved goodbyes, Nathan drops out of society where he lives self-sufficiently on a houseboat in Florida.

A twist of fate lands him into the home of Miriam Kanter, a young, fiercely independent woman with a shocking secret. Alone together in the midst of a raging hurricane, Nathan discloses the nearly unbearable sorrows of his past and finds strength to piece his shattered life back together. Being with Miriam, he feels the connection he’d been missing, stirring up feelings buried long ago. But will Miriam’s own life cut short and plunge Nathan back into his world of reclusive isolation?

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005FX0K7U

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005FX0K7U

DEGENERATES

Brutal slaying in the quiet suburbs of Philadelphia have detective Aaron Miller on edge. Residents are readily falling victim to a cold-blooded serial killer who is absolutely vicious, torturing and murdering at random and for sport. As pressure mounts to stop this psychopath, Aaron becomes increasingly frustrated by the lack of evidence. As his own life begins to unravel, a chance encounter leads him to interview the employees of City Café. He notices the shadowy figure washing dishes in the back. What happens next places the group in grave danger and leads them into a horror that will change everything about their lives.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007FFN5LY

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007FFN5LY

FROSTPROOF

On a winter night in 2009, Niles Goodman risked his life to try and save a woman and her newborn infant from a terrible car accident, seriously burning his hands in the attempt. The injuries left him unable to work and the financial strain is taking a heavy toll on his marriage. Enter Cody Larson and the promise of 1.5 million dollars if Niles chauffeurs him to Seattle to retrieve a dead drug dealer’s buried cash and narcotics. What entails is a weeklong trip into madness as Cody kills indiscriminately, and then after each murder explains his philosophy behind the slaughter. He calls it the frostproof. He believes he is the Antichrist and will soon rule the world, until their hellish journey takes an unexpected turn.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0083WSXL0

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0083WSXL0

Neil OstroffI’m an author of dark, noir thrillers, romance thrillers, and middle grade sci/fi and paranormal novels. I was raised in a rural town outside of Philadelphia and have been a published author for more than twenty years. My science fiction and fantasy stories have appeared in numerous presses, zines, and websites. I have several published novels available at all online booksellers. I am an avid boater, gardener, and poker player when not working on my novels.

ALWAYS WRITING

A blog about the writing life, making it as an indie author, and showcasing the books I write.

http://www.neilostroff.blogspot.com

**********************************

Amelia Mah




hi just to remind my readers that I do book features on my blog, book advertising is always so expensive so I offer a free service My blog has over 38,000 hits and a large following, am what I do is lots of book features as well as life as a teenage vampire. Send me a book cover pic, book blub and details on where it can be purchased along with author details and photo etc........ any thing that will make it good reading and i will do a book feature on it. my email is: amymahvampire@aol.com  In return all I ask is that you help publicise my books in anyway you can such as also doing a feature on your blog on my books. 

www.fangsrule.com

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

Review of Vampire by Amy Mah

Since the author of this unusual and humorous book is herself unusual and a bit off the charts, I am doing something a little different with this review. Of course, I mean that in the most loving way. You don't doubt me, do you, Mistress Amelia? I think it is necessary to give a brief account of how our Amy sees herself and her writing. This is borrowed from Amy's blog with some minor editing on my part. Clears throat! 

The author, Amelia Mah, is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire. Following the success of her first book, "FANGS RULE A Girls Guide to being a Vampire," she has now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel. Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long. She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy.

Below you will find the full color illustrated version of Vampire by Amy Mah. The edition that I read was the first printing and was not illustrated. Since I love the new version, I have decided to share that with you. 

Vampire

Amy Mah

Reardon Publishing

ISBN 9781874192619

   This is not your typical vampire story where vampires are jumping in bed with humans or are entangled with werewolves for one reason or another. This is the story of a teenage vampire who is just trying to survive in her day to day existence. It is humorous and will make you laugh out loud when  Amy is just being her own unique self. She has a way with words that is like no other. This book gives us insight as to how how Amy meets her boyfriend Max and becomes best friends with his sister Ice, who were introduced in her first book. Amy is so outrageous that you can't help fall in love with her. I'm sure she would have something to say about that... No matter! The book is a delight and if you are into the strange and unusual, you must get your copy and see for yourself. You better get a copy unless you want to hear from the author. She has her own version of bending you to her will. In all seriousness, get your copy, it is a great book.

    Disclosure: I received a copy from the publisher for reviewing purposes.

I give Vampire 5 out of 5 stars   

Links: 

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm and can be found on the amazon US and UK sites.

Waking Up Naked in a Strange Bed with a Hangover and No Memory of How You Got There

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2012

Sexy Cedric: Amy Mah Vampire on Waking Up Naked in a Strange Bed with a Hangover and No Memory of How You Got There

Amy Mah 

Welcome, my darlings, to another Sexy Saturday with Cedric!  Halloween is coming and I have a treat for you.  (No, not that, I'm far too expensive.) Today, my guest is the always delicious Amy Mah.  She writes about a problem that your host has dealt with on countless occasions:  What to do when you wake up naked in a strange bed with no idea how you got there? 

Waking up Naked in a strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.

Bed and sleeping with people is always a problem and as I always say Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing.

So back to waking up naked in strange bed with a hangover and no memory of how you got there, every drinking girl's nightmare, along with the worry of where you left your clothes.

So you slowly open your eyes and painfully look around a strange room which from the décor shouts rather too loudly of cheap motel …….and the way your head feel it says it far too laud even if it whispered it.

A cheap nylon sheet is covering you …….er ………..and that is all you have covering you ………. A fur coat would have been nice …….shut up …….you don’t mind who I kill and eat but you object to me liking fur ….huh………….you humans are so odd if I said a human corpse covering you would not have cared !!!

Is it all that is covering you …er…yes you check twice and a single piece of coloured cord around ones wrist does not count! Supporting the local cat’s home is very charitable but does not count as clothing.

So what happens next?

1. A man leaves some money on the bed side table as he puts on his trousers and leaves …………

Action: ……….you scream ……………. What just $20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. You turn to one side and see a naked man and two naked female fashion models in bed with you

Action: Roll over and go back to sleep you are ether in some guys dream or if real with the fashion models in bed with you than you know your honour is quite safe.

3. There is Eric the vampire from True Blood next to you in bed.

Action: ………….. Pounce on him ….he is not going to get away again!

4. You notice the room is empty apart from a pile of female clothes which are not yours.

Action :………. ….You know that no matter how short the skirt is you will go without underwear today as there is just no way you are ever going to put on another persons used underwear!

5. You look down and see you are now a guy You have changed sex during the night !!!! And then you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again?

Action:……………. Hope whatever the new extra bits you have know what they are going to do with out you having to order an owner’s manual from Amazon, but then as you stare at what is between your legs and now you more fear that the bigger problem will be trying to fit back into the micro dress you had on last night

6. You look down and you are still female but you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again.

Action: ……………. Telling her you have a headache only works on guys so you look on the bright side no matter what went on its now too late and turn to her thinking at least you won’t get pregnant.

7. You look down at your hand and discover a gold band on your wedding finger and snoring coming from someone near you in bed.

Action………………. Panic ! all you can remember are day glow cocktails with strange names like oblivion and something so pretty that it could not be alcoholic………. You can only remember talking to two people last night 1. a long distant truck driver who got his tattoos while in jail and 2. the bartender you are really praying it is the bartender next to you and then you remember the bartender was female and remembering the tattoos still pray it is the bartender!

8. You look around the empty room and remember that you booked yourself in last night just after being sick over the guy you fancied and you did not even remember eating peas. But he refused to take you home so you crashed here.

Action:……………….You pray to all the gods you know thanking them for the pounding head and the feeling of still wanting to be sick as it could have been far worse!

Amy Mah Vampire

ISBN- 9781874192626

Book Description

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

About the Author

The Author Amelia Mah is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire. Following the success of her first book "FANGS RULE A girls guide to being a vampire" she had now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy.

Link to YouTube book trailer video

Amy's Website

A big thanks to Amy for dropping by today and offering advice on a tricky topic.  

Contest:  Leave a comment for Amy and I will give one lucky winner an e-copy of Annals of the Immortyls!  Contest ends 10/31/12 at 11 p.m. EST.  Please leave a contact email, where Sexy Cedric can contact you!