Naked Demon Girl Seen in Mega Store ! Going shopping in the Nude

Naked Demon Girl Seen in 

Mega Store!

Still think a Blog title relates to the text?

Boy are you dumb.

As my books says being a vampire is not easy, 

it is not all dressing in black and spending a

fortune in dental floss

Some times I think I am a round peg sort of 

person living in a sq hole world, to day the 

local mega store had a sale on light bulbs so I

 got 15.

Yes just because I am a vampire does not mean 

I have to always have to use the dribbling black 

candles

 The automatic pay till no longer gives bags 

and there I am trying to hold 15 bulbs so I put 

them back in the basket to go look for a box.

The basket has a door sensor alarm which I set 

off looking for a box, after finding a box I set 

the alarms back off again bringing the basket 

back.

Now as for the alarms no one takes a blind bit 

of notice of them, and the thing is I wouldn't 

have cared if they had as the first to complain 

would find themselves carrying the bulbs for 

me.............

What stupid human decided that bulbs should 

come in two types of fitting?

The only reason for this is to upset anyone that 

has to stand on two boxes to reach the darn 

fitting to discover they have the wrong bulb!!!!!

What I need is an Igor servant to get the 

shopping

But no cash so ………………..

Buy a book !!!!!!!!!!

I need the Book sales to afford to produce my 

new book on Demons

Yes, I have written an adventure for a nice 

sexy Demon Girl

So buy a book

If not don’t blame me if people start 

finding an odd corpse laying outside a

 mega store with neck wounds and a 

screw fit bulb stuck in their mouth!

Amy Mah

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Vampire interviewed on the new vampire trend in blood suckers in books

CLICK HERE FOR NEW INTERVIEW

http://selahjanel.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/author-interview-amy-mah/

Romantic Vampire books for Teenagers

GIRL POWER BOOKS

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Amy Mah brilliantly sums up a teenager's unfair, unlucky, and incredibly awkward life: "For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why they don't get their own..." -- so why is it that they like ours so much -___- Us girls don't obsess over their weenies like that.

"[Blooding] is the when quality time is spent with your dad, no longer, in which he no longer is the old-fashioned monster of a male that storms into your bedroom without knocking while you're changing and demanding that you apologize to your mother for something that she is shouting at him about." -- the story of my family in one sentence.

"If your boyfriend suddenly decides to go commando, just tell him he looks untidy. A boy standing still naked is okay, but as soon as he walks about, not all his bits move at the same pace, and it is more amusing-looking than sexy. You may have heard of girls swooning (fainting) when seeing a boy naked, but I expect this was just an excuse to stop from pointing at them and getting into a fit of giggles over what they see." -- I reckon so too! LOL

"Remember that it is normal to turn the head slightly when you kiss. Nine times out of ten it will be to the right, which of course means that the first time you kiss a boy, he'll be the one out of ten sort, and you'll knock noses." -- in every kiss you have as a teenager, he will be the one out of ten sort. It soon shall pass.

"There's a truth in the old saying: 'Go to bed with a stranger and wake up with a friend.'" -- well I never! This puts a whole new perspective on the concept of sleeping with the enemy. So forbidden (hot).

sexy teacher and body teaching skills

Just found this little anime clip and wellllllllllllll 

Ok so I know guys can be a little slow at times

But I think this girl should give up on this mega slow guy and just give him an English to Japanese dictionary 

Now for some real excitement

Click Here

http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Yes it is my new novel

It is full of sexy vampires

Plus of course my book on what to do with a 

guy that wants

to bite you on the first date!

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

Take a look at my cute vampire body

Sexy clothing on my cute vampire body

………….so ……….all good vampire girls take a look inside the wardrobes to see what can look good when the weather gets better for an innocent (cough, cough ) walk in the night air.…………so having a look at my bullet proof vest ……or should I use the correct term Body armour………...yes of course I have one !!!!! …….silly!...............a girl has got to be prepared hasn’t she………….

No it is not like the big things you see on TV that say CNN along with the words Press on them in large letter just so people from Fox News know who to shoot at……(a joke before they sue me) …. When they say they fight for the stories it is True!!

The press ones look so thick they could stop a tank shell and makes the reporter look fat ……..they come in media camouflage colours which means Black with large letters in white saying TV ………..PRESS ……………..  So if a rival new company does not get you then it will be the government troops or rebel forces that will. 

Mine is unisex and I got it before I found out about wearing sexy Helsing underwear ………….. er……….. Want to know about my underwear?     hehehehehe    …………. 

Then you should have read my book! …..some of it is illustrated ….heheheehehe

It is unisex and white and fits under the clothes ……….. White …..ok so its brilliant white… my idea is that you can take it off and wave it to surrender but no they say it is to make it not noticeable ! .

NOT NOTICEABLE !!!!  well if you were wearing an overcoat then maybe ……….. but it is big thick and flattens ones boobs, not hard to do in my case but still, so extremely flattening but not in a nice way   

………….. It is held on with Velcro’s straps and buckles, the inner layer is breathable with lots of holes to stop one sweating in it………….

Sorry my Aunt always says girls do not sweat ………….. Horses sweat ………Men perspire and Women glow……………. So when I try it on in the summer I am glowing like a Horse………….. er………………the armour plating comes out via zip pockets and you can wash the jacket on a low setting if it gets too smelly.

And just because it says Designed for Comfort on it does not mean it is ……and besides if I wanted something designed for comfort it would be a bra and not body armour!……to put it on it goes over the head and the straps tie it together …………….ok  ok .so once it is on its ok…………. It’s just that I no longer look like a girl …if I was a little flat before…..I am now very FLAT 

…far flatter than any sports bra and without the advantage of looking like you are at least trying to get fit.

FBI agents may be able to put a jacket over it but I suggest a jumper that way you can try and put a tissue stuffed bra over it to give you back some sort of famine shape………….. er………. it is heavy ……… the weight is taken by the shoulders but it is still heavy .

I am told it is good against knife attacks and can take up to a 9mm bullet………. Huh as it I’m going to test it out by standing anywhere some is shooting at me ! …………… it may not be comfy but heck you try sticking a stake in me and you will soon discover that this girl is one smart cookie ………………

Humans are so stupid at times ………look we have seen all the horror films just like you have …………..and we know about how you want to kill us …………..

Hell he will have one silly look on his face after trying to stake me! …………..

er………well not for long as the mention of stake always makes me hungry…………..and ho just look I have now found my evening meal standing in front of me with a blunt stake and a silly look!

……. Human = Stupid …..

Now for some real excitement

Click Here

http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Yes it is my new novel

It is full of sexy vampires

Plus of course my book on what to do with a guy that wants to bite you on the first date!

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

Fang’s Rule is a teenage girls guide to being a Vampire , that said, this a guide from A-Z which is all about a vampire’s lifestyle, etc,.

I enjoyed this book a lot, especially nowadays when every talk in town, especially girl’s gossips consisted of vampires, romance and gothic, well, this a good take, anew taste of vampirism, since this is light and funny, and surely recommended for all ages, th

ere’s no horrid nor goric thoughts in this.

The book is nice since it acts as a way of a teenage vampire girl to help her fellow vampires to cope with their surroundings, everything from fashion, food/blood, rank, covens, family, undead and even boyfriends, dates and romance are tackled in this cute book---a book any girl would want to have.

This guide is well written, it didn’t look like the usual printed books but rather as if it’s really a journal, but I have no trouble reading..:) with its conversational tone it was easy to follow.

Ms. Amy Mah has a wonderful sense of humor and this book is a masterpiece! There are lots of things in this guide that I have never heard of before. I thought I knew vampires!

In addition to good humor, which in every word made me laugh out loud plus a very gorgeous manga art by Heby Sim, layout and design was done by Nicholas Reardon this book is a must-have for every girl, or those who want to feel-like…:)

I really really love the drawings, vibrant and colorful, especially the cover, so Asian and spells dark..:) I read this in one sitting.
This book is either outrageously funny or awesomely funny, but I’ll stick to the latter.

Manga book lovers, vampire lovers, girlish, artist would surely enjoy this… all the while with many laughs throughout the awesome artwork pages. I never thought being a vampire could be this fun!

Try it!

Girl Power Books

GIRL POWER BOOKS

naruto girls-nothings wrong with me

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Amy Mah brilliantly sums up a teenager's unfair, unlucky, and incredibly awkward life: "For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why they don't get their own..." -- so why is it that they like ours so much -___- Us girls don't obsess over their weenies like that.

"[Blooding] is the when quality time is spent with your dad, no longer, in which he no longer is the old-fashioned monster of a male that storms into your bedroom without knocking while you're changing and demanding that you apologize to your mother for something that she is shouting at him about." -- the story of my family in one sentence.

"If your boyfriend suddenly decides to go commando, just tell him he looks untidy. A boy standing still naked is okay, but as soon as he walks about, not all his bits move at the same pace, and it is more amusing-looking than sexy. You may have heard of girls swooning (fainting) when seeing a boy naked, but I expect this was just an excuse to stop from pointing at them and getting into a fit of giggles over what they see." -- I reckon so too! LOL

"Remember that it is normal to turn the head slightly when you kiss. Nine times out of ten it will be to the right, which of course means that the first time you kiss a boy, he'll be the one out of ten sort, and you'll knock noses." -- in every kiss you have as a teenager, he will be the one out of ten sort. It soon shall pass.

"There's a truth in the old saying: 'Go to bed with a stranger and wake up with a friend.'" -- well I never! This puts a whole new perspective on the concept of sleeping with the enemy. So forbidden (hot).

Bite into a good sexy vampire book

Fangs Rule

Bite into a good sexy Vampire book

Just Out

Click here:

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

bakemonogatari HD

Sexy Vampire Girl

Also on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Night-Life-Amy-Mah/dp/1874192626/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1343209912&sr=8-2&keywords=amy+mah+vampire

About the Author

The Author Amelia Mah is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire Following the success of her first book "FANGS RULE A girls guide to being a vampire" she had now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy. Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

Free Vampire Book

WIN A FREE VAMPIRE BOOK

Just click on the link before to visit Goodreads and enter the competition to win a signed copy of 

AMY MAH VAMPIRE

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15751638-amy-mah-vampire

or click below for a nice discounted copy direct from me

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

If you like my blogs then you will love my sexy crazy world of Vampires

And it has lots of illustration by the famous manga artist HEBY

Read all about life as a girl where you have to wear a transparent nightie without undies as a uniform

As to attending vampire High School where death was part of a survival course 

Having your pubic hair permed and Toilet Humour for Vampires

Toilet Humour for Vampires

I do so often worry that I am the only one to see the funny side of this strange world we live in.

Look as you know from my books and blogs

(Remember to always visit my lair at:

http://www.fangsrule.com )

I am a Vampire Author and life is not all about biting people, no of course not it is all about Chocolate, anyway a human friend just invited me on a shopping trip, and what girl could say no to that, ok so it was going to be on the other side of the planet but heck so what its shopping therapy so its good for one. 

But as I have said on other visits to SE Asia the major problem this vampire girl has is the plumbing ….eeeech ….so of it is like so primitive.  

 Talk about peeing in a hole in the ground.

And well the ones with running water have running water everywhere, making ¾ pants not a fashion item but the only way you can stop walking about with wet jean legs, the floors are wet….no the floors are soaking wet…..  take a look at what the girls non Muslim girls wear and you will see it is shorts and a top.

Even the posh loos have the standard cold water hose pipe to stick between your legs instead of toilet tissue.

WARNING: Always carry a packet of tissues …..

No toilet tissues in the cubicle and unless you are the sort of girl that goes about cleaned shaven (not a good idea if you have Chinese fur that makes you feel like a cactus unless done daily) it means you get wet but no in a nice way.

Wet Fur = Wet Panties …………….Wet Panties = Damp patches when you sit down  

Look at the photo and tell me how you would be able to stick a orange hose pipe between your legs turn on the tap and not look to the world like you have failed to reach the toilet in time.

Heck waving a hose pipe about in a confined space it is lucky one does not end up with a wet bra as well as wet panties.

For the real posh we have a little pink hose pipe and flushing and very important a drain in the floor……

Yes you have guessed it the public ones do not always have floor drains which is why you have to paddle before you piddle.

Our first hotel was a shock

As the toilet had a control box and a little penis in the bowl, (well what would you call it?)and it should have come with a health warning unless you are the sort of girl that likes to be violated by a bathroom appliance  ….I'm Not! ....I had to film it …see the power of that water jet hit the door!!!

Yes I did try it out my mistake……..well how was I to know it would do that ! and it was aimed at a delicate part of my body and it  *!!#~** ing  HURT !!!!!!!  

I don’t know about others but I think it is a contraceptive device as there you are sitting comfortably thinking how cute the bellboy was that nearly got a hernia carrying your cases up and after the blood curdling scream you let out in discovering what the switch does believe me sex is no longer on your mind.

As we moved about the next hotel we tried had a supper looking WC

And came with instructions as it had its own moving penis ………yes it did !!!!!   yes it has a penis I kid you not take a look at the film I made and just guess where that little white pipe is travelling to… eeeeeeeeech 

Perhaps it is just me and this is normal but never in my wildest fantasies have I ever wanted such a personal encounter …..and the water was Sooooooo Frigging COLD !!!!!!!


Now I am told that some in Japan come with hot air blowers ........wow........... now that is better a hair drier for a different location on the body 


Ok Ok Ok why is it that it comes to my mind the idea of pubic hair styles can now include have a perm !! eck !!!!!!!!!

I am still trying to forget what I will need years of counselling to get over ...........

Ho yes to finish off please take a look at my vampire book film trailer and please buy a copy as I will need to stock up on lots of paper tissues before having another shopping trip in SE Asia.   

Amelia Mah




hi just to remind my readers that I do book features on my blog, book advertising is always so expensive so I offer a free service My blog has over 42,000 hits and a large following, am what I do is lots of book features as well as life as a teenage vampire. Send me a book cover pic, book blurb and details on where it can be purchased along with author details and photo etc........ any thing that will make it good reading and i will do a book feature on it. my email is: amymahvampire@aol.com  In return all I ask is that you help publicise my books in anyway you can such as also doing a feature on your blog on my books. 

www.fangsrule.com

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

Review of Vampire by Amy Mah

Since the author of this unusual and humorous book is herself unusual and a bit off the charts, I am doing something a little different with this review. Of course, I mean that in the most loving way. You don't doubt me, do you, Mistress Amelia? I think it is necessary to give a brief account of how our Amy sees herself and her writing. This is borrowed from Amy's blog with some minor editing on my part. Clears throat! 

The author, Amelia Mah, is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire. Following the success of her first book, "FANGS RULE A Girls Guide to being a Vampire," she has now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel. Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long. She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy.

Below you will find the full color illustrated version of Vampire by Amy Mah. The edition that I read was the first printing and was not illustrated. Since I love the new version, I have decided to share that with you. 

Vampire

Amy Mah

Reardon Publishing

ISBN 9781874192619

   This is not your typical vampire story where vampires are jumping in bed with humans or are entangled with werewolves for one reason or another. This is the story of a teenage vampire who is just trying to survive in her day to day existence. It is humorous and will make you laugh out loud when  Amy is just being her own unique self. She has a way with words that is like no other. This book gives us insight as to how how Amy meets her boyfriend Max and becomes best friends with his sister Ice, who were introduced in her first book. Amy is so outrageous that you can't help fall in love with her. I'm sure she would have something to say about that... No matter! The book is a delight and if you are into the strange and unusual, you must get your copy and see for yourself. You better get a copy unless you want to hear from the author. She has her own version of bending you to her will. In all seriousness, get your copy, it is a great book.

    Disclosure: I received a copy from the publisher for reviewing purposes.

I give Vampire 5 out of 5 stars   

Links: 

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm and can be found on the amazon US and UK sites.