Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon her first book is self help guide called: Fangs Rule a girls guide to being a vampire from Reardon Publishing and is available as full colour paperback, Kindle; E Book. Amy also written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night. Later this year her book on sexy Demons will be published
A
self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is
fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A -
Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about
living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out?
Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite
you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day
problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges
to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and
good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing
drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public
believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls
greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't
just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have
sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.
Today's
world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses
of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few.
Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what
it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can
read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong
sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and
produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first
teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older
vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform,
a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female
vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called,
"male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a
very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire,
the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was
normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have
involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off
his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the
first date).
One day people will notice that my blog titles are far more sexy than what I write in the blogs. And I find it funny that my blogs get banned in some places over the titles and not the content! But to change the subject just thought I will let you all know that I am busy writing and by the end of the year you may find yourselves meeting a few sexy Demons. I don't know if you will like reading it but heck it is fun to write!! To be a writer you have to have imagination but just saw the following pic on Face Book that is even beyond my imagination take a look:
Now is this real? Science? If it is then will the next page cover the fact that the Moon is made of Cheese and the world is Flat? No. 4 Dinosaurs living with people? do they mean like birds which people think could have descended from dinosaurs, if so this is a little deep for the age range and if they are thinking more on people chatting with a real live T-Rex then only in Hollywood. Well just as long as the same schools stock my vampire books as they would be real good for the next Science paper. Talking of papers here is another is it real form: OK so I have the right colour to tick box 2 but could someone explain how ones skin colour effects you sexual and I am so wanting to find out what you could put down as other .......................
A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.
Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).
I thought I’d start out with some fun … time to have an interview with a vampire! Amy Mah is a new and very funny YA Urban Fantasy author who blogs and writes about her life as a modern young vampire trying to deal with both humans and fellow vampires. She’s been transformed into a manga character – real photos were changed into the wonderful images you will see in her books which are all fully illustrated showing the readers what the vampire world and characters look like. Let’s take a look into Fangs Rule: A Girl’s Guide to Being a Vampireand it’s rather unique author, Amy Mah. VAMPIRE EXPLORED: First of all, I’d like to welcome you to Vampire Explored. By luck of the draw, you’re my first interview, so I’ll try to be gentle. Tell us a little about yourself. What part of the world do you live in? Tell us about your background? MS. MAH: Hi and thanks. No need to be gentle just ask away, people don’t upset me. I am very forgiving with the human race. it is like getting upset with a sandwich! The book is me and my life, with just one or two changes of name so that people do not try and stake me in the night. I was born in SE Asia and so people always think by my color I am Chinese or Japanese but only in the same way if you are blond then you must be a Viking. By nature I am cynical and sarcastic, my parents died when I was young and I moved between Aunts so had one heck of a strange childhood – with some very, very loving (and slightly mad) Aunts. I am super bright and not modest … yes it is true I know it may come as a shock but I really am not modest, and with my personality and education I would be best suited as an Assassin or starting a Religious war. The 3rd choice is as an author but if you do not buy my books then do not blame me if the first time you meet me is when you are on a hit list. As I said my book character is me, same name, same life, same problems, just sharper teeth. So I will now talk to you as Amy MahVampire – Hi my name is Amy, and I am a vampire. For those who do not know me, I should point out that I used to be a feral vamp, living in the outside world raised by humans until I was discovered and adopted into Vampire society. In the human world, life was very difficult for me. I knew I needed blood but did not know how to get it, all I had was human books and films telling all kinds of stuff that was useless, like I can change into a bat, and that is so not true! I tried it and all it does is make you look stupid as you flap your arms up and down. And it’s the sort of thing that follows you about like a bad smell as you struggle to survive in a place where every day could be your last because you face the living hell humans call High School! I had hoped life would be better once I was taken into vampire society. Well, being a vampire sounds like it should be a cool thing to be, sleeping during the day and enjoying a night life with friends. Huh, but no one warned me of the rules and that it also means having to suffer Teenage hormones for like forever or until my new vampire family would let me grow up! Being a vampire is not so much fun and some of the rules are just crazy – like being told I have to walk about wearing a see through nightdress with no underwear, and believe me with my bust size that is so not going to happen, I have a hard enough time as it is trying to get a boyfriend without showing him what I don’t have! To fill in the time between discovering where best to bite someone, to being able to climb a wall with just my finger nails and at the same time snarling at the guys below who are trying to look up my nightdress, I decided to write a self help guide for other teenage vampire girls. I have called it Fangs Rule and it is written in an easy to follow A – Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern vampire. VE: What attracts you to the urban fantasy genre, and what made you want to write it? MS. MAH: I just love horror films they are so funny and what they say in them … hehehehe … “the best way to kill it is to remove its head!” Duh, like that would not kill most things. I wanted to write to show why these films are so funny when looked at from a vampire’s point of view. And if you are a vampire in the world of humans the first thing you will do is watch all the vampire movies that humans produce. The vampires are the ones laughing in the back row every time a vampire gets killed by his lunch! And vampires do not hate humans. Duh! After all they are just a prepacked lunch on legs. VE: Does the way you personally look at life reflect in your writing style? MS. MAH: Yes. The world is sooooooooooooo, soooooooooooo very funny which is why I blog. First it gets it out of my system and then people love reading my blogs which is always a turn on for any writer! Wow I even get hate mail ! Its true! That is like so cool, I can upset someone so much that they have to send me hate mail. VE: What concept or situation about your book makes it so unique? MS. MAH: I do not think anyone has done it the way I have. I have personally stepped into the vampire world and taken a look around.Fangs Rule is only a taste of what is to come. My full novel is coming out next year and I have given the vampire world rules reasons and explanations. If things happen, why do they happen? There must always be a reason, it may be hidden but it has to be there. VE: Tell us about Fangs Rule. Is it YA? I thought your book videoreally rocked. It caught my attention. What was your inspiration for this book? MS. MAH: I did not write it as YA, it just came out that way. It is written at different levels, adults should see the adult humor and some parts are in teen speak, so adults will miss what is really being said but a teen will know far more than what adults think they know. The bits I like are the funny but true little comments I sneak in: “Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian, sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing.” VE: What is your favorite scene from the book and why? MS. MAH: The bits that remind me of my childhood. In my full novel you will hear all about how one of my Aunts liked to sleep on the roof. TRUE! She still does, says it is nice and cool in the summer. I live in fear of seeing her on a Google street map as I zoom down to see her house. She is in my novel along with my other Aunt that has taught me the habit of showering and changing undies at least 3 times a day. She would never sleep on a roof unless it was scrubbed first, but apart from lots of love, she has given me such lovely quotes to put in my books. “Amy! Go clean your teeth! No one likes to be bitten by someone with dirty fangs” AND … “Amy! Sit correctly, you are wearing a dress. Feet on the floor and your knees together girl. You are trying to catch a husband, not flies!” VE: Have you written other books? MS. MAH: No Fangs Rule: A Girl’s Guide to Being a Vampire is my very first book, but I have a novel almost finished, and they will link together. VE: Finally, if you could tell us one thing about your genre that makes your mind spin with ideas, what would that be? MS. MAH: Well it is so easy to do! I just start typing and can’t stop. Only one problem … I think faster than I can type and I type faster than I can spell. Be sure to check out Amy’s website: http://www.fangsrule.com Links to where you can buy Fangs Rule: A Girl’s Guide to Being a Vampire: Amy’s Website (FREE postage anywhere!):http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm Amazon: Paperback – http://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule-Girls-Guide-Vampire/dp/1874192480/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301589874&sr=8-1 Amazon: Kindle – http://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule_-Girls-Vampire-ebook/dp/B0058ODPFK/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310995592&sr=1-1
Vampire Explored is a blog by Deborah Riley-Magnus, author of “Cold in California”, first in the Twice-Baked Vampire Series!
Amy Mah brilliantly sums up a teenager's unfair, unlucky, and incredibly awkward life: "For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why they don't get their own..." -- so why is it that they like ours so much -___- Us girls don't obsess over their weenies like that.
"[Blooding] is the when quality time is spent with your dad, no longer, in which he no longer is the old-fashioned monster of a male that storms into your bedroom without knocking while you're changing and demanding that you apologize to your mother for something that she is shouting at him about." -- the story of my family in one sentence.
"If your boyfriend suddenly decides to go commando, just tell him he looks untidy. A boy standing still naked is okay, but as soon as he walks about, not all his bits move at the same pace, and it is more amusing-looking than sexy. You may have heard of girls swooning (fainting) when seeing a boy naked, but I expect this was just an excuse to stop from pointing at them and getting into a fit of giggles over what they see." -- I reckon so too! LOL
"Remember that it is normal to turn the head slightly when you kiss. Nine times out of ten it will be to the right, which of course means that the first time you kiss a boy, he'll be the one out of ten sort, and you'll knock noses." -- in every kiss you have as a teenager, he will be the one out of ten sort. It soon shall pass.
"There's a truth in the old saying: 'Go to bed with a stranger and wake up with a friend.'" -- well I never! This puts a whole new perspective on the concept of sleeping with the enemy. So forbidden (hot).
Anyway as I said I view lots of anime and I am happy
with flying dragons and magic pigs but sometimes I come across one that is beyond
my belief
I have not got the series but I found three episodes in
English on youtube so take a look.
It is called needless special and well it is pretty needless
and mostly impossible
Look its about a guy looking for his sister that
pretends to be a girl and enter an all girls nudist school ………well it must be
as they spend every day taking their clothes off and walking about naked.
Yes I know it is a guys idea of what a girls school
would be like but guys …. Your imaginations are so out of place and errrr WRONG
Look at school you learn to change without showing
your body as you are a teenager and normally as embarrassed as hell about what
you have or not have so you learn neat tricks like taking your bra off without taking
your top off. And walking about naked is something you do not do.
Next my moan about this anime is just how the hell can
a boy get away with pretending to be a girl ! ok so I don’t know what age he is
supposed to be but all his classmates have boobies and his chest is as flat as
a pancake perhaps he should have invested in a course of botox for his chest.
Shouldn’t his voice have dropped? And how come his boy
bits are not noticed when all he is wearing is a thin pair of girl panties?
Yes ok ok I know it is all make believe and I guess
the whole plot is to show girls getting naked
Now that the Party season is on us I thought I would do something seasonal
Ok ….I have only recently understood what camel toe means and now I just found out about the girl walk of shame, look yes I have been to University but I was one of the boring ones that studied.
Well yes maybe not all the time but having an Asian upbringing meant that you feared a thing far more dangerous than date Rape or being murdered and that was having some Aunt seeing you out walking home at in your party clothes and smudged makeup.
Look you can only be murdered once ! With a suspicious Aunt the only way you could get away with it is if you could provide her with doctors certificate proving your virginity …………. As I said you can only be murdered once.
Anyway I have found these lovely little vids on Youtube and well I think they are funny
