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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What sort of convo can you have when Naked together in a shower

I’m still looking for a guy he has to be Rich, 6 ft 2 tall, blond with a six pack body and hung like a horse is not asking too much is it ?  See I only have simple needs ………ho well …..Perhaps one day ……sigh………. Look ok he can dye his hair blond as to height, he has to be taller than me as I want someone who can reach the top shelf in supermarkets……….. er…….. well I can also drop the 6 pack idea but not fat, and he must be able to open jars, twist lids my butt they must glue the things on.

He still must be rich and older than me, and if he does not have a horse in his ancestry then he had better make up for it in presents of expensive jewellery.  

I always have lots of questions but it is often hard to find answers to them, like when I ask things about Guys and I get some very odd looks and answers …………. Well I would not have asked if I knew now would I? ………I innocently ask one little question on Facebook and then I go red from the replies I get, I did tell you that guys send me photos of their dicks didn’t I, and I so wish they wouldn’t, a bit of mystery around that part of the male body is fine by me and stops me asking them if they have seen a doctor about it.

Maverick Football Locker Room Going Off

I have questions like do Guys look at other Guys naked bodies? they are always getting naked together and you hear about what they get up to in the showers and locker rooms, I expect they don’t mind being naked together as most of a guys body is on display like on the beach and only a small part of their body they keep covered…………. And in some cases a very disappointingly small part it is too………. Movies always show the games of flicking bare butts with towels and play fights in the showers over the soap……is it true?

What do they talk about when they are showering together? Girls and sport I expect, what about other stuff guys do …er….you know …

……. Do they all walk about the changing rooms with a towel hanging over their dicks to show its load bearing ability by pretending to be a piece of bathroom furniture, ………. huh ………….now if they had a 2lb box of chocs hanging off it ……well that would be far more interesting !   

Look I am interested that’s all …………. Nothing wrong with that now is there.

My publisher often give me blog ideas and this one came up when he was telling me about steam rooms (Turkish baths) and that the big football players wear a see though plastic top and pants with elastic cuffs ………..the reason being they can sweat far more due to the plastic……I asked what they looked like and my publisher said it had put him off ever eating boiled chicken again.

He that is my publisher is mad…………… well he must be as he thinks I am normal ………..hahahahaha …like he reads my books and still thinks I am normal! now I worry what his other authors must be like if he thinks I’m normal!

I said he has lots of good ideas why not do his own blog …………. But he says he could not get away with what I say and he has a wife and goldfish to think of………

GOLDFISH !!!!! they are not goldfish he has piranha ! pet piranha ………….. like no one should have pets that have better teeth than me ………………..  it was partly my fault as I was teaching him about Fung Shui ……..told him about things to have in his office ….a stature of a warrior god and fish ……………..Soooooooooo what does he do, he has put weapons up on the wall …………and has a real samurai sword …………now that is mega cool ……………vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv sharp and light …….I can swing it about with one hand…………….. er ……..yes we do have interesting business meetings  …………… forget the European swords that I can not even lift ….a samurai sword I now my weapon of choice.

Piranha-bite test



River Monsters: Bathing with Piranhas

And a large fish tank ……….with flesh eating fish ……………….if you wash the BBQ sauce of a spare rib they love it, yes I have tried, I dropped it in from a height as I have seen too many horror films to get fingers too close to them……..he feeds them on scraps from the table and it is so much fun watching them fight over a chicken leg.

I do wonder about what his other authors make of his Fung Shui office ……………. I  expect if they take too long signing a contract he would start finding the fish…………

Why am I talking about my publisher ..well he asked me to plug ….er..sorry ……. Tell you of a new book he is just publishing.


 Edward Wilson’s Antarctic Notebooks 

 Click here for details:



 Dr. Edward A. Wilson (1872-1912) is widely regarded as one of the finest artists ever to have worked in the Antarctic. Sailing with Captain Scott aboard 'Discovery' (1901-1904), he became the last in a long tradition of 'exploration artists' from an age when pencil and water-colour were the main methods of producing accurate scientific records of new lands and animal species. He combined scientific, topographical and landscape techniques to produce accurate and beautiful images of the last unknown continent. Such was the strength of his work that it also helped to found the tradition of modern wildlife painting. In particular Wilson captured the essence of the flight and motion of Southern Ocean sea-birds on paper. Returning with Captain Scott aboard 'Terra Nova' (1910-1913) as Chief of Scientific Staff, he continued to record the continent and its wildlife with extraordinary deftness. Chosen to accompany Captain Scott to the South Pole, his last drawings are from one of the most famous epic journeys in exploration history. Along with his scientific work, Wilson's pencil recorded the finding of Roald Amundsen's tent at the South Pole by Captain Scott. Wilson died, along with the other members of the British Pole Party, during the return journey, in March 1912. Many of the images in this book are rarely seen or are previously unpublished. The drawings and paintings were created at considerable personal cost in the freezing conditions in which Wilson worked. He often suffered severely from the cold whilst sketching and also from snow-blindness, or sunburn of the eye. They provide a remarkable testament to one of the great figures of the heroic age of Antarctic exploration. The book has been produced as a companion volume to 'Edward Wilson's Nature Notebooks' by two of Wilson's great nephews, to mark the centenary of his death.


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