Waking up naked in a strange room

Waking up Naked in strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.

Bed and sleeping with people is always a problem and as I always say Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing.

So back to waking up naked in strange bed with a hangover and no memory of how you got there, every drinking girls nightmare, along with the worry of where you left your clothes.

So you slowly open your eyes and painfully look around a strange room which from the décor shouts rather too loudly of cheap motel …….

and the way your head feel it says it far too laud even if it whispered it.

A cheap nylon sheet is covering you …….er ………..and that is all you have covering you ………. A fur coat would have been nice …….shut up …….

you don’t mind who I kill and eat but you object to me liking fur ….huh………….you humans are so odd if I said a human corpse covering you would not have cared !!!

Is it all that is covering you …er…yes you check twice and a single piece of coloured cord around ones wrist does not count!
Supporting the local cat’s home is very charitable but does not count as clothing.

So what happens next?

1. A man leaves some money on the bed side table as he puts on his trousers and leaves …………

Action: ……….you scream ……………. What just $20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. You turn to one side and see a naked man and two naked female fashion models in bed with you.

Action: Roll over and go back to sleep you are ether in some guys dream or if real with the fashion models in bed with you than you know your honor is quite safe.

3. There is Eric the vampire from true blood in next to you in bed

Action: ………….. Pounce on him ….he is not going to get away again!

4. You notice the room is empty apart from a pile of female clothes which are not yours.

Action :………. ….You know that no matter how short the skirt is you will go without underwear today as there is just no way you are ever going to put on another persons used underwear!

5. You look down and see you are now a guy You have changed sex during the night !!!! And then you hear
a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again?.

Action:……………. Hope whatever the new extra bits you have know what they are going to do with out you having to order an owner’s manual from Amazon, but then as you stare at what is between your legs and now you more fear that the bigger problem will be trying to fit back into the micro dress you had on last night

6. You look down and you are still female but you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again.


Action: ……………. Telling her you have a headache only works on guys so you look on the bright side no matter what went on its now too late and turn to her
thinking at least you won’t get pregnant.

7. You look down at your hand and discover a gold band on your wedding finger and snoring coming from someone near you in bed.


Action………………. Panic ! all you can remember are day glow cocktails with strange names like oblivion and something so pretty that it could not be alcoholic……….
You can only remember talking to two people last night 1. a long distant truck driver who got his tattoos while in jail and 2. the bartender you are really praying
it is the bartender next to you and then you remember the bartender was female and remembering the tattoos still pray it is the bartender!

8. You look around the empty room and remember that you booked yourself in last night just after being sick over the guy you fancied and you did not even remember eating peas. But he refused to take you home so you crashed here.

Action:……………….You pray to all the gods you know thanking them for the pounding head and the feeling of still wanting to be sick as it could have been far worse!

***********************************************

Swapping bodies with a young female demon had not been part of the planned vacation.

A Body Swap Book by Amy Mah

Swapping bodies with a young female demon had not been part of the planned vacation.

Nor was having to attend a demonic high school for the magically gifted.

When the most magical thing you could do was set your own underwear on fire.

Life was not going to be easy, even less so with a painful tail that everyone trod on.

Owning a magic sword that always tried to look up your skirt when fighting was not helpful.

But then nor was having a telepathic diary that corrected your thinking instead of your spelling.



www.fangsrule.com/fire.htm

Amazon Link:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Smoking-Hot-Diary-Fire-Demon-ebook/dp/B00Q8J2UGY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1418091156

Swimming Naked with Whales

Swimming Naked with Whales

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html

Braving sub-zero temperatures, she has thrown caution — and her clothes — to the wind to tame two beluga whales in a unique and controversial experiment.

Natalia Avseenko, 36, was persuaded to strip naked as marine experts believe belugas do not like to be touched by artificial materials such as diving suits.

The skilled Russian diver took the plunge as the water temperature hit minus 1.5 degrees Centigrade.

Belugas are famed for the way in which their faces are able to convey human-like expressions. Certainly Matrena and Nilma seemed to enjoy frolicking with Natalia. 

The taming of the whales happened in the Murmansk Oblast region in the far north-west of Russia at the shore of the White Sea near the Arctic Circle branch of the Utrish Dophinarium.

An area of the sea is enclosed  to stop whales and dolphins getting out and instructors tame the mammals before they are transported to dolphinariums around the world — a practice many animal conservationists consider cruel. 

Belugas have a small hump on their heads used for echo-location and it was thought that there would be more chance of striking up a rapport with them without clothes as a barrier.

And before anyone says anything no I am not racist, I am the wrong colour to be racist it is just cultural pointing out the stuff I do you know like keeping slaves or believing it is a god given right if American to own so many guns you could start your own war, nothing wrong at all it is just cultural

Like I went swimming today and HMG it was like swimming with whales’ ……….. god are some people fat! ………. Well they are!

On my next visit I am going to take a harpoon gun with me just for self defence .............

and I am sure I saw Captain Ahab standing on the side of the pool.

And what is it with people swimming in groups chatting as they swim! It is like being in a traffic jam without a horn to honk.

The next thing will be waterproof cell phones so you can text as you swim.

Or perhaps video conference

Then on the way out I saw the poster ………

Eeeck they were taking booking for the naturist nights.

Yes swimming in the NUDE !!! it would not be like the movies I mean so much white flesh all I could think of was Beluga Whales

Now for my adverts 

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FANGS RULE

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

VAMPIRE 

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Naked Demon Girl Seen in Mega Store ! Going shopping in the Nude

Naked Demon Girl Seen in 

Mega Store!

Still think a Blog title relates to the text?

Boy are you dumb.

As my books says being a vampire is not easy, 

it is not all dressing in black and spending a

fortune in dental floss

Some times I think I am a round peg sort of 

person living in a sq hole world, to day the 

local mega store had a sale on light bulbs so I

 got 15.

Yes just because I am a vampire does not mean 

I have to always have to use the dribbling black 

candles

 The automatic pay till no longer gives bags 

and there I am trying to hold 15 bulbs so I put 

them back in the basket to go look for a box.

The basket has a door sensor alarm which I set 

off looking for a box, after finding a box I set 

the alarms back off again bringing the basket 

back.

Now as for the alarms no one takes a blind bit 

of notice of them, and the thing is I wouldn't 

have cared if they had as the first to complain 

would find themselves carrying the bulbs for 

me.............

What stupid human decided that bulbs should 

come in two types of fitting?

The only reason for this is to upset anyone that 

has to stand on two boxes to reach the darn 

fitting to discover they have the wrong bulb!!!!!

What I need is an Igor servant to get the 

shopping

But no cash so ………………..

Buy a book !!!!!!!!!!

I need the Book sales to afford to produce my 

new book on Demons

Yes, I have written an adventure for a nice 

sexy Demon Girl

So buy a book

If not don’t blame me if people start 

finding an odd corpse laying outside a

 mega store with neck wounds and a 

screw fit bulb stuck in their mouth!

Amy Mah

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Naked Sexy Demons and Medical Insurance

Why as a writer every time I step out from my own personal created worlds I think that I should step back in as mine are better written than what others call real life.

I am coming up for air today as my new book is about 90% finished, well the writing side of it is.

Two weeks to seeing a cover design and I can't wait.

Soon I will be telling all about my sexy girl Demon.

Magic is everywhere. and it is a known fact that out of the chaos of what people think of as normal there is a whole section of the underworld set aside to design legal forms

On some insurance I see that I am not covered by acts of God ……. Eckkkk …now I have to worry about what gods I have pissed off this week.

It’s the Demons some god or other is complaining about how a Demon has to look after a tail and purchasing a bottle of Tailglow is a good start.

Sometimes I think the world is mad and other times I know it is, looking at some medical insurance forms I see that most cover against multiple birth and with my social life I could start a new religion if I needed that clause, so i asked if it would be any cheaper if it was removed and told no, it is a standard clause no mater of age or gander............. so even a guy is covered for personal multiple birth, now I would like to know how many guys have even been able to claim on that part of the insurance?

For a more normal life step into one of my worlds ………….

=====================

Now for some vampire news

www.fangsrule.com

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.

Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

WWW.FANGSRULE.COM