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Friday, August 19, 2011

Laying NAKED face down on a plastic table


Ok, like what is it with me and getting naked all the time? When on my vacation to visit family in SE Asia I found a cultural difference and as I have said before the colour of your skin no way helps keep you safe from the local water bugs………….. I may be the same colour …..Well slightly lighter ………… think about it I’m a vampire we don’t do sun bathing ! But then nor do my human relations ……..so just over a handful of degrees above the equator and one never sees sunlight as one never goes out in the sun ………


An old song “Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the sun” ………………… well Chinese in hot countries never go out in sunshine as it would make the skin dark and no one would want to marry a girl with a tan ………..well at least they have stopped with foot binding.


You will see I sometimes get confused with saying them or we and that is because I am confused over what I am ……..as I have said before in colour and looks I am Chinese but have never been to china ……………


Anyway I like to have a go at most things and so my Aunts suggested a trip to a Chinese doctor when I was feeling down with the heat and effort of thinking of ways not to meet nice young men that my Aunts had found for me…some days I thought I was wearing a for sale sign on me………..


All I know of Chinese medicine is that it tastes so bad you quickly get better so you can stop taking it …………… One sort I tried in the past had the extra bonus of cleaning out my bowels so well I went down a dress size.


As with everything I decide to try, I notice that it will mean removing my clothes in front of strangers …………..and no amount of wise words of well we are all the same there is no need to be shy will make up for the fact that it is normally me naked then others are dressed!


I have heard of cupping and scrapping before…. Film stars in Hollywood have it done, and you can always tell by the strange marks on them that look like they have been attacked by an octopus ……………. When I saw what was going to happen …….like being shown the torture instruments in case I may not notice what was happening while I am facedown naked on a table with just a thin curtain between me and someone buying rhino horn or such like.


I ask the important part ….no not the price…… like will it hurt? …………


One of my Aunts helps put my mind at rest (huh) saying:


How will I cope with child birth if I can’t suffer a little pain……………….     


CHILDBIRTH !!!!!! at what part of my vacation is that planned for ??????????? ……….  that’s it no way am I meeting any more nice young men!



I found this clip on Youtube:  ………….         Reasons NOT to wear a condom …….. funny ………….




Now this is sad!             No Condom - Very Funny Video ………          but still funny

No Worry over guys wanting to take you to bed once you had some cupping done you look like you have already been ravaged by a demon …………. Well in my case my fangs and burning red eyes would stop any Guy doing anything without a please my permission.   


So there I was laying naked on a table……………. Er  …. No I still do not know why naked when it is just my back that is being done ………….. Come to that I do not know why I can’t keep my bra on! Ok I would let her undo the strap but I would still have material between me and the plastic table …………….

I think my next Vacation should be to a nudist resort there at least it will not be just me naked  …………… look I don’t even walk about naked at home……… er …well yes well my cat is male and he kinda gives me funny looks if I walk about fur less ………

So the cupping is done and at the start it is ok ….no pain ….kinda niceish ……………….little glass jars are used and something is burnt in them and they are placed on my back  ……………….


Special points on the back like acupuncture …………. Can I tell you more……..er….no I am laying naked on a table face down and all I can see is the one on my shoulder as it begins to suck up the skin and the skin turns red and ….ouch …… yes the pain starts as the skin on my back is sucked up into little jars ……………. I am sure I have seen horror movies with this in it, at this point I should be saved by some tall blond haired hunk of a man .but no …………. And my silent screams of agony are only meet by looks of disapproval from my aunt…… ok so they are so much as silent more like semi muffled screams!


It HURTS !!!! and I can’t move ….. This is now getting even more like a horror movie all I need now is Dr Frankenstein asking for a lighting machines to be attached and a hunch back saying yesss masterrr with a lisp.  


Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the relief as they are popped off to be finished by some scrapping …………. It helps bring blood to the surface and you can see the results in the photos I have added ………….like makes you look like you have been dragged naked over sandpaper …………..


I know it is cultural and so must be ok ………. Look so is being kissed as a greeting in Europe

………. And why did no one tell me it did not involve tongues until after ……….. well ………

….. I suspected it should have limitations when the guy finished off the greeting by groping my butt …

……….. it was only then my girlfriend told me it should just be the cheeks ……… ha ha …yes very funny ……….but I still have his phone number if I ever go back to France.


Then comes the problem in dressing like it is too painful to wear a bra for the next day or so ……….. ok so in my case no one will notice.


What does it feel like afterwards? Well in fact it feels fantastic like the best massage you could ever hope for ……………. You feel so relaxed you could flow across the floor like water …………………… ok  ok  ok  so it feels fantastic afterwards but as to next time let me first try and forget the pain factor.


acupuncture Neck gua sha




The Chinese CUPPING Massage Experience



And yes this is all you are seeing !





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