I am so in the wrong job!

I am so in the wrong job! 

You can get paid for this? perhaps I should give up writing ?

I dont see why people complain about what she is doing 

lots of sleep and get paid for holding guys ...er... thats it?

ok so perhaps I would need to buy a pair of handcuffs to stop roving hands ........................... unless ...................... well you never know if he looked that good perhaps I would need them ...... cough .... cough .....but lets not go there.

Does any one remember the blog i did last year on the Singapore girl that got paid just to go out and have a meal with a guy nothing more ............. well apart from the fact she would would guarantee than she was not wearing panties on the paid for meal ............... no I dont know how she did that, perhaps she would show the waiter  

Professional Hugging offered at a price

Spooning peacefully in a double bed, this pair could be any normal couple on a Sunday morning.

But revisit the scene an hour later and Jackie Samuel will be curled up in the arms of another man.

She's no scarlet woman however, for the 29-year-old is a professional cuddler.

Jackie Samuel snuggles up to a client in her large double bed

Samuel turned to snuggling with strangers to help pay for her studies and provide for her young son.

She can make £160 a day and cuddles with up to 30 men a week – including pensioners and war veterans.

However, her business "The Snuggery" has not gone unnoticed and her college has threatened to expel her – while others have called her a prostitute.

She said: “I think I was born knowing how to snuggle. Snuggling is healthy, spiritual and fun.

“I think clients come to me for all different kinds of reasons.

“Some of my older clients, their wives have passed away, and they just need someone to be with, like someone to experience touch with.

“Some of the younger clients are between relationships, some are in problematic relationships, and some people are just really curious and they come to just find out what it’s going to be like.”

Samuel advertises her services online and charges £35 an hour.

The cuddling can take place anywhere around her cottage in Rochester, New York, but most clients opt to use her large double bed.

Sex is not permitted, but sexual arousal is excused

They are banned from touching parts of her body covered by underwear, which she wears under pyjamas.

The business has done so well she has even hired another snuggling professional, Colleen.

Her apprentice has yet to take on a client by herself but has joined Jackie on two occasions in what they have termed a "double cuddle".

Quick Poll

Paying for hugs at £35 per hour is...

 ...healthy spiritual and fun.

 ...a bit weird and sleazy

VOTE

Despite her strict rules on sexual activity, Jackie has received a barrage of emails and phone calls slamming her as a prostitute.

She added: “Some have said I am worse than a prostitute because they think snuggling is more intimate than sex.

“I’ve been told I’m monetising love.”

One of her repeat customers, who would only give his name as Tim, disagrees with her critics.

He said Jackie’s cuddles had helped him following a bad break-up and described the sessions as "meditative".

He even said he would continue to see her while in a relationship.

“There’s no cheating element, it’s not immoral,” he said.

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In the mean time I need money without sleeping with guys for it so please buy my books!

www.fangsrule.com

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A Peek Inside Jackie Samuel's Snuggery

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Guys sex secrets they don't tell their girlfriends

Rounded up a group of men and asked them to spill their 
innermost thoughts on their exes, their girlfriends’ bodies and what 
they do with your shoes when you’re out, they laughed and said “not a 
chance”. So we twisted their arms behind their backs until they could 
take the pain no more, and eventually they spat out the truth. Here’s 
what they told us…


1. “I can take a laptop apart and put it back together again, but I 
have no idea how to put on a condom properly. I’m 35 and can’t remember 
how many flings I’ve had.”

2. “Every woman I see, I picture naked. Doesn’t matter if she’s my 
girlfriend or the nan in the supermarket queue. I can’t help but 
imagine what she looks like with nothing on. Bet most men do exactly 
the same.”

3. “I know where my girlfriend keeps her diary and I read it regularly.”

4. “The girl I’m seeing goes to loads of trouble with candles, music, 
wine etc whenever I go round to her house for dinner. It’s quite sweet 
but it’s totally pointless. Men couldn’t give a toss about romance, we 
just want you to get a beer from the fridge and get your clothes off. 
But I’ll let her continue with the seduction stuff, ‘cause she’d be 
gutted if she knew what I’d just said.”

5. “I never, ever have any idea ‘where the relationship is going,’ and 
I care even less.”

6. “There is nothing more gross than untrimmed private bits on a girl. 
I can really fancy her, then find a big unruly bush, and I’ll never 
want to sleep with her again. Sorry.”

7. “I’m sleeping with her best friend, but I’d rather be sleeping with 
her sister.”

8. “My girlfriend takes the same size shoes as me, so sometimes when 
she’s out I put on her high heels and walk around the house in them. 
It’s really hard at first but you get used to it, and it gives your 
calf muscles a good workout.”

9. “I wish I could say that women look better with no make-up on. But 
generally they look really rough.”

10. “I quite often fake orgasms when I’m getting bored and want to go 
to sleep, or when I just can’t make it happen. I just grab a bit of 
tissue and pretend.”

11. “If any girl says ‘I love you’ before I’ve said it to her, I have 
to dump her. Partly because I find it a turn off, and partly because 
it’s my tradition.”

12. “I never remember anything a woman says to be during a date, 
because I spend the whole time thinking about what her face looks like 
during sex.”

13. “If a woman is good in bed, it has absolutely nothing to do with 
her technique and absolutely everything to do with her enthusiasm. But 
I’m happy to let the girls carry on thinking that technique matters, 
because it’s a nice bonus.”

14. “We get far more jealous than girls do.”

15. “I’ve been waiting for a girl to phone me all week and I’ve cried 
about it twice. No way am I ringing her first.”

16. “I pretend to forget about our anniversary because I get scared 
that my girlfriend will forget, and I don’t want to be the only one who 
remembers, because it’s not manly.”

17. “I wax my chest with my sister’s leg-wax strips.”

18. “My girlfriend thinks I go running but actually I go and sit in the 
park for a smoke, then walk the 200 yards home again.”

19. “Chatting girls up is hideously difficult, and I’m terrified of 
rejection. So if I’m at a party I always try to spot the weak one and 
separate her from the pack so I’ve got more chance of success.”

20. “If a woman chats me up I automatically think she’s a bit 
desperate.”

21. “I love chick flicks and have watched Titanic about 10 times.”

22. “I’m completely straight but I’ve got a slight thing for Matt Damon 
and was made up when my girlfriend wanted to watch all three Bourne 
films one evening. Had the best sex ever after that.”

23. “I fancy the news reader Moira Stewart.”

24. “When I suggest splitting the bill on a first date, it’s because I 
don’t want to have sex with her.”

25. “Men moan about women talking too much, but we all secretly like 
chatty women because it means less work for us. I had a date recently 
with a girl who was nice-looking but very quiet, and the evening seemed 
to last a week. There was so much dead air. Babbly women are the lesser 
of two evils.”

26. “My girlfriend has lost a bit of weight recently and I know that 
she’s really happy about it, and her clothes fit better and all that, 
but to be honest I wish she’d chub up again because she was more 
cushiony, which made her nicer to have sex with. She was also a bit 
warmer in bed. Literally warmer, temperature-wise. Now that she’s slim 
she’s got freezing feet.”

27. “I find women far more attractive in underwear than naked.”

28. “When I’m having sex with my girlfriend I imagine that she’s my ex.”

29. “Whenever I look through my girlfriend’s Facebook photos, I’m 
basically eyeing up her good-looking friends.”

30. “I wear concealer to bed.”

31.”I make fun of my girlfriend for buying celeb magazines but I read 
them from cover to cover on the loo. If she didn’t buy them I’d have to 
find a way to smuggle them into the house.”

32. “I spent the night at a girl’s place and used her pink razor on my 
hair ‘down there’, because I got a kick out of the idea of that we’d 
shaved our bits with the same razor. I hope it didn’t blunt the blade.”

Guy's secrets..
By Jane Hoskyn

Now some thing you should take a look at a new and very funny book:

click here to read

www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm 

and here for the Fangs Rule book

www.fangsrule.com/buy1.htm

Girls playing with themselves is what my Aunt calls it

Girls playing with themselves is what my Aunt calls it ..........

I prefer to call it exercising my fingers ……and sometimes my toes as I am very flexible.

Some girls like to do it laying on the bed while they watch some hot guy on TV.

Me? I do it I like to watch a good wild life film showing Lions attacking wilder beasts and dragging them down in a mess of blood guts and gore …………. Yes it is normal, I'm a vampire now shut up …………….

All girls do it and it is good for you, I keep something special hidden under my bed to help and it is so good and hard it will take some time to wear it out.

Mine is made from seasoned oak smooth and polished to stop one getting splinters.

Yes I lay on the bed and placing the block of oak on my tummy I strike it with my claws and when I have a good grip I then bring my toe claws up to try and pull it away or to just lash out with them to create nice score marks in the wood. Yes I expect you have seen pet cats do it, but have you seen them take a mans head off with a single strick, no? well I can!.

Old mature oak I find is good and strong but I can still rip good size chucks out of it and wow does it feel good ……yes I do vacuum up the chippings before I sleep,…...I mean it is such a nice feeling to stretch ones claws in this way, and you will appreciate the exercise next time you are hanging from a ceiling by your finger nails.

And ceiling hanging is so important when you want to surprise you’re pray by dropping on them and I can tell you something dropping on you from a height with four sets of very sharp claws is normally a terminal type of surprise.

As I said my Aunt calls it girls playing with themselves and I so wish she would not as one gets some very funny looks on visitor’s faces when she tells them what I am doing in my bedroom!

Waking up Naked in strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.

Waking up Naked in strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.  

Bed and sleeping with people is always a problem and as I always say Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing.

So back to waking up naked in strange bed with a hangover and no memory of how you got there, every drinking girls nightmare, along with the worry of were you left your clothes.

So you slowly open your eyes and painfully look around a strange room which from the décor shouts rather too loudly of cheap motel …….and the way your head feel it says it  far too laud  even if it whispered it.

A cheap nylon sheet is covering you …….er ………..and that is all you have covering you ………. A fur coat would have been nice …….shut up …….you don’t mind who I kill and eat but you object to me liking fur ….huh………….you humans are so odd if I said a human corpse covering you would not have cared !!!

Is it all that is covering you …er…yes you check twice and a single piece of coloured cord around ones wrist does not count! Supporting the local cat’s home is very charitable but does not count as clothing.

So what happens next?

1.                  A man leaves some money on the bed side table as he puts on his trousers and leaves …………

Action: ……….you scream ……………. What just  $20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.                  You turn to one side and see a naked man and two naked female fashion models in bed with you   

Action: Roll over and go back to sleep you are ether in some guys dream or if real with the fashion models in bed with you than you know your honour is quite safe.

3.                  There is Eric the vampire from true blood in next to you in bed

Action: ………….. Pounce on him ….he is not going to get away again!

4.                  You notice the room is empty apart from a pile of female clothes which are not yours.

Action :………. ….You know that no matter how short the skirt is you will go without underwear today as there is just no way you are ever going to put on another persons used underwear!

5.                  You look down and see you are now a guy You have changed sex during the night !!!! And then you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again?.

Action:……………. Hope whatever the new extra bits you have know what they are going to do with out you having to order an owner’s manual from Amazon, but then as you stare at what is between your legs and now you more fear that the bigger problem will be trying to fit back into the micro dress you had on last night

6.                  You look down and you are still female but you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again.

Action: ……………. Telling her you have a headache only works on guys so you look on the bright side no matter what went on its now too late and turn to her thinking at least you won’t get pregnant.

7.                  You look down at your hand and discover a gold band on your wedding finger and snoring coming from someone near you in bed.

Action………………. Panic ! all you can remember are day glow cocktails with strange names like oblivion and something so pretty that it could not be alcoholic………. You can only remember talking to two people last night 1. a long distant truck driver who got his tattoos while in jail and 2. the bartender you are really praying it is the bartender next to you and then you remember the bartender was female and remembering the tattoos still pray it is the bartender!

8.                  You look around the empty room and remember that you booked yourself in last night just after being sick over the guy you fancied and you did not even remember eating peas. But he refused to take you home so you crashed here.

Action:……………….You pray to all the gods you know thanking them for the pounding head and the feeling of still wanting to be sick as it could have been far worse!

Guess what I have just had my first book interview ……. Weeeeeeeeeeeee  have I told you before ……….. well tough I am telling you again it is by blog !

Here is the link …….so take a look:

http://www.eeriedigest.com/wordpress/2011/03/interview-with-author-amy-mah/

My book is now on sale please click below to see details:

 http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm