Amy Mah is a snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who writes of her life as a modern Vampire and whose books can be seen at: www.FangsRule.com or on Amazon her first book is self help guide called: Fangs Rule a girls guide to being a vampire from Reardon Publishing and is available as full colour paperback, Kindle; E Book. Amy also written VAMPIRE where you read of her problems of living her life as a blood chilling denizen of the night. Later this year her book on sexy Demons will be published
Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).
Half the world ignores me due to having boobs and the other half because I am a vampire ………………. But here I sit looking about at the mess you humans are making ……………….
As I keep telling you humans if you stop playing about with cults and new crazy religious fads you may have some time to sort out all the real problems in the world …….and perhaps even gain a bit of knowledge ………..
On the knowledge side did you know that human blood comes in all shades of red ……..no? er why don’t you? ….I know it ……….well it does and it has nothing to do with a person’s health ….well …ok if it is a little cloudy then worry about your cloistral levels ……………. Ignore me on this and don’t blame me if you have a heart attack …………….. Human blood comes in all different colours of red and the question is why? In the past your blood group would kinda match your race but now days with mans sexual habits I would not be surprised if it also matched some sheep and camels.
1.Does it relate to your race?
2.Does it relate to your blood type?
3.Your diet
4.Do you always have the same colour blood or does it change?
Why am I the only one asking such things ……..well apart from other vampires that is.
Look with all the human scarifies in the past you would have thought someone would have mentioned it……………… well you need to have the correct shade of red dripping over the naked virgins body …………………. Ho sorry forgot you are guys so all eyes will be on the boobs and as to checking of colour it will be if her thatch matched the head hair ……………….. the blood pouring over her would not even be noticed ……….. guys ….huh
And as to politics what is all the fuss about the world can be sorted out if you put a woman in charge ….er…………..like me………… well I could sort you out.
Give up moaning about China and human rights etc as there is nothing the West can do, China owns all of the US debt trillions of dollars of bonds.
It is soooo easy to sort the world problems out …….first make the Jews happy by giving them an extra country somewhere if they give up on Palestine.
Personally I would say give them …. That is the Israelites bits of lands that cause problems ………
…Kashmir ……
……….. Perfect as India and Pakistan have been fighting over it for years give it to Israel then no one can complain as it will not be Muslim or Hindu controlled ……………. And think of the benefits ………..Israel is good at building walls they could build a wall around it ……………… and even Pakistan would benefit as all the terrorists would move to the borders of Kashmir and everyone can blame the Christians.
Elfen Lied - Monster
The next step would be offer Afghanistan to China along with all mineral rights ………… wow would you see the population in Afghanistan change colour over night ……………..
Look this is normal the world is always giving away other people land ………how else do you think the Jews got Israel in the first place.
So normal after all major wars the land changes ownership of sometimes just sold to someone…………….. Did anyone ever ask the natives in Alaska if they objected being sold to the USA? …..well did they?
So as I said the world needs a female touch and so why not me ……….ho well at least I offered so next time something goes wrong don’t come crying to me.
