God loves my blog or I would not have so many hits on it…….. just past 5,000 … weeeeeeeeee

Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire

Er that’s the way religion works er? ...........you must have faith ..........

Look ....... Trust me I am a Vampire .................

For a change today I will pick on Christians, Rastafarians, Muslins and the female fashion industry …………….

RAPTURE ...................... its ok every one god did not miss you .........it is now set for October ........................

er one nasty thought to come to mind at this point is that it did happen and no one was saved and we are all in hell

.................... ho well look on the bright side I don't now have to worry about how to wash and blow-dry six foot of white wings ................... and Halo polishing would be such a chore …………

To make things fare I should not miss out the Rastafarians or people will say I only pick on the main religions ................ normally black people with platted hair which is never cut

........... look it is just an excuse to smoke drugs and never wash your hair............ I am surprised that the spell checker could even find you !

Did everyone find how to make a Burqa in my last blog useful ? yes if u r really ugly then this is for u if not a guy will take one look at you and turn homosexual and you do not want that on your conscious now do you?

A Burqa is gods way of telling you that you are ugly ................ it is written in the holy books in ball point pen so must be true

And before anyone says about the virtues of wearing a Hijab I have it of very good information (those that wear them) that it make your hair very oily and drop out

........... so another of Gods commands er? ............ I am god and so women should be bald!

Sorry I am only joking about being Ugly to wear a Burqa .........

………….. the way guys are and the reports of them finding sheep so sexually enduring I say don’t worry about your looks just have your burqa made out of black wool and bleat a few times ............and I am sure you will keep you guy more than sexually content ……………… see my blog on Ferries

It is Gods will and Good for a Girl to Wear a Burqa

Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire

It is Gods will and Good for a Girl to Wear a Burqa and if you have a body that needs to wear Drop Crotch Trousers then please do us all a favor and hide it in the Burqa black sack! Now !!!!

Have you seen this new fashion ………DROP CRUTCH TROUSERS FOR GIRLS ….. And they are UGLY !!!!!! 

http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/trousers/drop-crotch-trousers_217603961?extcam=FBA_2011_FAC_FED_002&tmcampid=94&tmad=c&tmplaceref=FBA_2011_FAC_FED_002

Guys would be more turned on by you wearing a Niqab and dark glasses before seeing you in one of these !

As I said before .............Trust me I am a Vampire ……………….. if this is your body shape then a Burqa is what you need:

For the Good of society please cover yourself up ......and now!

This is How to make a Burqa :....................

The burqa is a facial garment worn by women of some Islamic traditions. It may cover the entire body (where normal clothing is worn underneath), the whole face or worn around the face. In stricter traditions, women must wear it whenever they go out in public, and only remove it when they are in their own households. More liberal traditions allow women to wear it similar to a hood, where the face is fully shown. This article will guide you on how to make such a garment.

o                                1

Cut your selected material to one of two lengths: 28 inches wide by 60 inches, or 28 inches by 78 inches. You may cut this yourself with fabric scissors or have it cut at a fabric store.

o                                2

Sew the edges of your fabric. You may do this by hand, but it is recommended that you use a sewing machine. This will seal the edges of the burqa so that it does not fray or unravel.

o                                3

Place the fabric over your head, with one side longer (about 30 percent) than the other. Pin the fabric under your chin. Place the longer side over your other shoulder.

o                                4

Take the length you placed over your shoulder and put it up against (or even above) your ear. Pin this length behind your head, tight enough so that it does not loosen during normal movement.

o                                5

The extra length hanging behind your head is up to you to style. You may keep it there to hang or wrap it around your neck. You may also drape it over your shoulder.

 

Drop Crotch Trousers

We come in peace (SHOOT TO KILL)

We come in peace (SHOOT TO KILL)

I have just sorted out all the problems with Libya …………… now aren’t I a clever girl

……… it was so simple I just informed Israel that the Libya people are really the lost tribe of Israel …… and I have asked them to send a peace keeping force to Libya.

And I can guarantee that as soon as they arrive Libyans will no longer be fighting each other.

Now wasn’t that easy

………….  I also said they could pick out a Libyan city for themselves to keep and ………….

Er ……….. No… I don’t see any problems of having a Jewish city in a muslin area…….. look it didn’t cause any problems with Jerusalem did it?!

It is so simple if you read the holy books as both religion have god saying Thou shalt not kill…………….so what could go wrong.

After this I plan to suggest that Afghanistan would make a nice holiday retreat for Jewish politicians ………………  of course they can take there security guards with them  ………but they should not need them as they are very religious there and if so  can not kill or they will not go to Heaven.

     

Having Sex with Male Slaves and Donkeys

Having Sex with Male Slaves and Donkeys

I was told I should not talk of sex, religion and politics in my blog as it does not sell books………….. heck…….well without those headings my blogs could be very empty

Today I was asked my opinion over things like racism, …………Yee gods why  me?

I used to worry that being a blood drinking vampire and nicely dressed denizen of the night was ….well could be a little …..er………….odd sounding

But not anymore..Ever since I joined Facebook I now know I must be one of the sanest people on the planet! ………… Yee Gods are there some odd people on Facebook ……and when I say odd I mean ODD !!!!! ……………. Er…………if you are one of my friends on facebook ……….look I don’t mean you……… it is all the other we talk about when they are not on the wall.

Ho yes and some of the nicest friendliest guys can normally be found in satanic groups, do not worry about the strange demonic names they have, as most are real gentlemen when it come to chatting with girls.

So back to the subject in hand………….Talk about race?.....Like Do I really need any more hate mail? And yes I do get hate mail !!!

Some Guy on facebook I was warned about that I will not say his name ………hell I wont …………. His name is “Hass”……… he had his named account frozen by FB for harassment and bad language or so I’m told by people that know him, he said it was hacked in to and taken over by someone else well he sneaked back it with a new account he shared with another guy …..friendly er?...........

I was advised to block this new strange account after getting some very odd and colourful language ………… er that means  lots of swearing about me and my blog….

Foolishly I later unblocked him after a friend asked me to and for my troubles got a selection of page long messages almost in the form of death threat ranting on about me being a Lesbian Muslin hater and how my book should be used as toilet paper ………but not put so politely ……………….. well he could create his own dictionary of swear words …but a few when going over 4 letters could do with using a spellchecker. ……….

So it just goes to show first impressions do count ……………

Well as being an author a reputation could be damaged if this sort of crap gets beyond the FB complains dept so I may as well tell the whole world here and now and come clean:

1.     I am not a lesbian ….which could be why I blog about my lusts concerning Tall Rich Blond Guys…….sigh………..but I do not have anything against people’s sexual preferences ….

……….well unless he is a Hot looking Rich Tall Bond Guy that I then discover is Gay …………. But my reaction is more on the lines of bursting into tears over the loss of yet another possible boyfriend than any other complaint……………….. ok, ok, ok,   I admit it I do moan about one gay guy I know ……………… he keeps rubbing it in that he cooks far better than I do  ……………….. and ……so       just because it is true ……. There is no need to rub it is …………….. I would say something to him over his rudeness but ……….well ……….. I still want him to invite me around for meals!

2.     As to being a Muslin hater ……………… er…………. I think if people take a look at my past blogs I kinda treat all religions the same …………

I don’t care how devout a person says they are, or how may times they pray during the day if they then go out and kill innocent women and children in the name of any god I do not have the tendency to like them………sorry I can help it ……….  But it is them personally and not their skin color or faith ……………..

Look I will say the same to all followers of  Judaism, Christianity and Islam ………read the commandments ……

….there is no get out clause under the line saying Thou Shalt  Not Kill  ……………..

Perhaps some holy books have an extra bit added in ball point pen giving a sub clause saying that this does not cover killing people daring to eat chicken on a night of a full moon during a mouth with a R in its title ………………..

Is it just me or does anyone else worry about some of the wording, things like

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

COVERT?  er............ (Longing to possess), sounds like a word meaning wanting to have sex.   I can understand a God being a little pissed over someone screwing a neighbours male slave or donkey …. Well its so rude………. That’s only what you do after winning a war……… .but for the life of me I am at a loss of any perversion about people having sex with houses.......…horses maybe………well there are some lonely sad guys about but houses.............like how? .......... but then who am I to judge ….and well God says don’t do it anyway………..

So lets see what comments I get on todays blog………………..

Ho yes please take a look at the famous face Book Song :